Jim sank into the sofa, head in his hands having a mental battle with the keys on the table infront of him.
He could go, he could do something, anything about what had happened, he could save Seb and explain. He could save him.
Or, he could forget about Seb. Leave him to die, all his current problems solved, gone.
Could he?
Jim laughed slightly maniacally at the sheer audacity of his situation, the battle of the brain and heart, a battle he thought he'd never fight. A heart he thought he never had. Without a heart, he was imortal in mind. Nothing could get to him, kill his thoughts. He was unbeatable without it, non-human. His laughter stopped abruptly as he span and pounded the wall with his fist.
He wanted to deny his hearts presence, but how could he when every clear, selfish, normal thought in his head was being picked off by the words I have to help him.
He paced the floors and clawed at his scalp, helpless and trapped by his emotions. He screamed and threw knives at the wall but nothing, nothing was enough to stop him from knowing what he knew, and feeling how he felt.
He felt bad...because he'd done something wrong. That had never happened.
He stopped pacing and crouched to the floor curled up like a man in agony. He hugged his legs and closed his eyes tight shut.
He couldn't. Couldn't do what? Just couldn't. It made no sense , his head was a mish mash of sadness and anger and fear and guilt. And nothing made any sense.
He couldn't.
He couldn't go after him...he couldn't not.
He couldn't just sit there in a state of permanent indecisiveness.
Finally, he made up his mind, sighed and stood up. It went against everything he'd ever done, but felt right for everything he wanted to do.
He picked up the keys from the table in the living room , he packed the deadliest weapons he had into a rucksack , and left the flat switching the lights off as he went.
YOU ARE READING
Tiger
Fanfiction*post his last vow* Moriarty returns from the dead to his assassin Sebastian Moran. However things don't seem the same... Moriarty competes with his brain, but in his attempt to rid himself of his problems, his feelings, will he just cause torture...
