chapter 4

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grabbing my keys and my 9 mm i head out to my apartment. its an old abandoned building i found as a teenager. i started collecting weapons and needed somewhere to hide them from my boyfriend and my family. the first thing i notice when i get there is the door looks as if it has been kicked open. i draw my pistol and sweep the building. it is completely empty. every single gun, knife, everything. did the cops get it? no i would have been thrown in jail as soon as they found this place. son of a UG?! they cant just get up and run away. i shed my my jacket and shirt leaving my sports bra and jeans. striding over to the back room thank god my bags are untouched.  i clip one up on the ceiling. i dont have my gloves but i have been boxing for years so i should be okay. the first hit stings like hell but as i keep going i begin to get angry. letting it all out on the bag. with one final punch it flings from the ceiling taking the clip with it. i wipe the sweat from my brow and the tears from my emerald green eyes. 

i cant take it anymore. i do not want to be like this. i dont want to hurt or kill people. i just....i cant stop. i look down at my belly. "i need to stop" i say to no one in particular." i need to stop for you" i say to my baby girl sweeping my hand across my belly.  7 months and im just barley showing. i found out right before the arrest. i was supposed to tell Ryan that night but one thing lead to another and here i am. 

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