As He Held My Hand

5. Change

5. Change

Grant’s POV

Gemma Willis had changed. I wasn’t quite sure if it was for the better, but I was positive that she had changed. She was no longer annoying or high – pitched, although she did have a bit of an attitude.

I thought about her while I lazily splayed myself out on the couch to flip through channels for something to watch. I thought about her while I made dinner for me and my dad. I even thought about her while I read a little bit before I went to asleep.

I compared her to her old self; what she was like in middle school and what she was like now: her hair was longer, her boobs were bigger, and her level of sarcasm had grown. I couldn’t figure out why I was intrigued with her, or why I was fascinated by comparing her to who she used to be.

The next day was Saturday, and I was supposed to meet up with a few guys from the football team to go out for something to eat. I get up, shower, make breakfast for my dad, and then wait around until 11 before driving off in the direction of the mall.

I join Aaron Blackwell, Greg Carson, and Shaun Lyell in front of the food court. Greg and Aaron had dragged along their girlfriends, Alex and Hazel I think, and that’s when I remember that Gemma went to the fair last night with Alex and Greg. We all head over to the food court, Alex and Hazel lagging behind. I want to talk to Alex for some reason, maybe because she knows more about Gemma than anyone else, and I want to know everything about Gemma that I can. I don’t know why, but I do.

But I don’t have to go to Alex first. She comes up to me while Hazel joins Aaron ahead of us. “So, I heard you spent the evening with Gemma, last night.” she says. She walks by kicking out her legs ever so slightly and keeping her hands in the pockets of her dark red leather jacket.

Greg looks behind himself, for some unknown reason, and then I think that he’s probably checking to make sure I’m not doing anything to Alex.

Greg doesn’t like me, but I can’t tell if the rest of them hate my guts as much as he does. I don’t worry about it.

“Yeah.” I say. I look out over the balcony and down at the people walking around below us. A little girl throws a penny behind her into the fountain, and her friend tries to do the same. She misses, but doesn’t notice, and they walk off together.

“So, what did you guys do?” she asks me. “We walked around, we played a few games, I won a tiger…” I drone on with the stuff we did when she slaps my arm in a friendly way. “Oh that’s where she got the tiger!” Alex says. Greg turns around again. Alex shoots him a confused look. He turns back around.

“Yeah.” I say again. I try to figure out a way to bring up Gemma again, but Alex joins Greg’s side before I can and we arrive at the food court. This trip is extremely boring, but if I can sit next to Alex then maybe I can ask her a few questions. But first I have to sort out what I want to ask her.

We push two square tables together and bring six chairs around it. Then we go to the separate restaurants and order our food. Both Alex and I go over to a Pizza Hut, and I have a chance to talk to her. “So, um, IwantedtoaskyouaboutGemma.” I blurt out quickly. “What?” she laughs. “I wanted to ask you about Gemma.” I repeat, a little slower this time. “OK, um, what do you want to know?” she asks. “I’m not really sure.” I tell her. I wipe my palms on the sides of my pants, suddenly finding that they’re a little sweaty. “That narrows it down. I don’t really know what to tell you if you’re not sure what you want to know. I don’t think I should be the one to tell you the big stuff-.”

“What do you mean the big stuff?” I interrupt her. “Look, when she’s ready to tell you stuff about herself, she will. But she barely knows you. You can’t expect her to reveal her biggest darkest secrets right off the bat. You need to give her some time. She’s a little…fragile. Or, maybe that’s not the right word…” she starts rambling to herself as I mull over her words.

I barely know her. I mean, I’ve known that she’s existed since elementary school, but I don’t know anything about her. And Alex is right, when she’s ready to tell me stuff about herself to me, she will.

And I find myself wanting to be friends with this girl that I hated a few days ago. I find myself wanting to know this girl that I didn’t care about before. She intrigues me, but I can’t let her know that.

After lunch, we all go our separate ways, and I decide to myself that this mall trip was a bust. I didn’t find out anything specific about Gemma, and besides talking to Alex, I was practically ignored the whole time. I drive home listening to the radio, when a song comes on. I glance at the name of the artist, and it sounds familiar. I go over the names of the bands Gemma listed to me yesterday, and realize it’s one of them. I turn up the volume and listen to the song, bobbing my head to the tune. It’s catchy, and when I get home I search up more songs by the band.

I end up buying an album, and I listen to it before I fall asleep, seeing Gemma’s pale grey eyes again before sleep takes over.

___________

The next morning, I get up at 10 and go downstairs, finding a note on the kitchen counter. As I rub the sleep from my eyes, I try to read the note. It’s from my dad. He says he’s gone to the doctor’s office because he wasn’t feeling well this morning. He should be back around 11:30 or so.

I spend the rest of the morning watching TV and listening to the rest of the album I purchased last night. My dad is home at 11:20. He looks…I can’t tell how he looks. I can’t tell how he’s feeling, or what his emotion is.

“Dad?” I ask as he closes the door behind him. “Hey, I need to talk to you, Grant.” he says. He ambles into the kitchen, dropping his keys on the counter and running his hands over his face. I get up and follow him. “What’s up?” I ask, trying not to sound worried even though I am. I notice a red mark on the side of his left hand, like he hit something out of anger.

“Dad?” I ask again. I can almost hear the panic in my voice. “Yeah, Grant?” he says, looking over at me. “You said you need to talk to me.” I state, echoing his words to me. “Right, right. Let’s sit down on the couch.”

I follow him back into the living room and sit down on the chair across from his. “Dad you’re kind of scaring me.” I say, a fake laugh revealing itself in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Is everything alright?” I ask. For him wanting to talk with me, I seem to be doing a lot of the speaking.

“Yeah. Well, no, no not really…” he drifts off. I’m despising the suspense, and the fact that something’s wrong makes me feel like my stomach has dropped and my heart is in my throat. I sit there, staring ahead at my dad, who has his head in his hands. I can still see that he’s looking slightly pale.

“Grant, the cancer, my cancer…its back.”

A/N ~ OK, I don’t really like this chapter because the only thing that happens is the little cliffhanger at the end ;) Other than that it’s pretty boring and I apologize.