As He Held My Hand

4. To Stuffed Animals, Chocolates, and New Friends

4. To Stuffed Animals, Chocolates, and New Friends

Gemma’s POV

We’re still standing there in silence, although the chatter of those around us seems deafening. “I’m sorry.” I say. “I’m sorry for judging you, I shouldn’t have done that and I didn’t mean to tell you what you can and can’t do. It’s just that…” I drift off.

“It’s just that what?” he asks. His voice is not harsh or angry or hard. I can’t tell what emotion it is. “It’s just that I’ve seen girls get hurt by you before, and I’ve seen them cry over you and it’s awful.” I tell him. “I’m sorry.” I say again, and we continue walking in silence.

After a few minutes, I catch Grant looking at me. “This-.” he says, holding out the tiger. “-is for you.” he finishes. “But you- you won it.” I say. “Yeah, I was gonna give it to you anyway. Stuffed animals are for girls too, so. Take it.” he says. I laugh and clutch the tiger. “Thank you.” I thank him, still laughing.

He laughs too, and we continue to walk around the fair in the cold, smelling the fair smells and hearing the fair sounds. And it actually isn’t that bad.

_________

After finding Alex and Greg at the end of the fair, and saying goodbye to Grant, Greg drives me home. They apologize for leaving me at the beginning and the fact that I had to hang out with Grant the whole night. And even though I know I should, I don’t say that I chose to hang out with him. They don’t even ask about the tiger.

The next day at school, Alex and I don’t have lunch together, so I scan the cafeteria in vain for a place to sit. My eye catches an empty table at the far corner of the cafeteria, and I dart over there in hopes that someone else doesn’t get there first. No one does.

I sit down at the circular table and start to pick at my salad. I suddenly wish I had some chocolate, although I don’t think chocolate would taste very good in a salad drowned in Italian dressing.

I bring a forkful of salad up to my lips and am about to take a bite when a figure is suddenly standing in front of me with a tray full of food. I look up, the fork still brushing my upper lip.

Grant is standing above me, smirking. “Hi.” I say, still looking up at him. I slowly put the forkful of salad in my mouth, and chew. “Hi.” he laughs. “Is this seat taken?” he asks. “No,” I say. I try not to chew with my mouth open. “But why on earth would you want to sit here?” I add.

He sits down. “Aren’t we friends? After all, I did give you a stuffed tiger.” he winks at me. “Wow, we’re practically married.” I say, giving him an eye roll. I take another bite of my salad. “So?” he asks again. “Yes?” I say, mocking his tone of voice.

“Are you…mocking me?” he jokes, placing a hand on his chest. “Yeah, actually. I was.” I reply, no sarcasm at all. “Well, are we friends?” he implores. “C’mon, I want an answer.”

I think about this. Are we friends? Do I want to be friends with Grant, the heartbreaker/asshole/player? Wait, I promised I would try not to judge him anymore. But with all the stories and proof…I have no idea if I want to be friends with him. I can’t just say that though. I’m not that heartless.

“Sure…” I drag out the first letter of the word, and he raises an eyebrow. “That didn’t sound very convincing.” he comments. “It’ll have to suffice, I’m still trying to decide if I should trust you or not.” I say, relaxing back in my chair. I cross my arms and Grant stares at me from across the table, leaning forward, hands’ clasped.

“You want some candy?” he asks suddenly. He leans back in his chair and folds his hands in his lap. “Excuse me?” I question. “Candy. Can-dy. You know, the stuff that rots your teeth but tastes really good?”