As He Held My Hand

6.Part of the High School Experience

6. Part of the High School Experience

Gemma’s POV

Grant is not in school on Monday. This isn’t supposed to affect me, or at least it shouldn’t. But it does. I sit alone in the lunch room, strangely wishing that Grant will smugly saunter in and come sit with me. It’s freaking me out.

Why do I miss him when a few days ago I hated him? Why do I wish he was here, offering me chocolates and toasting to friendship with Gatorade? I eat my lunch in silence for the first ten minutes, and then Alex comes running in and sits in front of me.

“Where have you been? Don’t you have this lunch?” I ask her, sipping my water. “Yeah, but Greg and I got lunch off campus. We already ate.” she explains. I turn around and see Greg making his way over to us. He waves at me, and I wave back.

When I turn back around, I realize that Alex has been babbling in my ear. “Wait, what?” I ask. I put the cap on my water and continue to eat my sandwich. “I said, I was at the mall this weekend with Greg, Aaron, Shaun, Hazel, and Grant. And he asked about you!” she exclaims, a surprised tone obvious in her voice.

I inaudibly suck in my breath, and feel my heart stop beating for a second. He asked about…me? This makes my heart beat a little faster, and suddenly, I have no appetite to finish my sandwich. Greg joins us at this time, taking a seat next to Alex. He pecks her cheek, but she continues to ramble.

“He wanted to know what you were like, and the whole time I was so surprised and shocked.” she says. “Did you tell him anything about me?” I become scared but jealous that Alex got to tell stuff about me to Grant. “No, I just told him that once you got to know him better, you might open up about yourself more. And I kind of told him you were fragile, but I didn’t mean it that way.” she says. “Fragile?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. What does she mean by fragile? I’m not a box of breakable china.

“I just meant that you’ve been through a lot of stuff, so he should take care of you.” she says. “Why would he need to take care of me? I can do so on my own. And besides, we’re not even-.” but I stop, remembering our toast on Friday. “To stuffed animals, chocolates, and new friends.” he says. I sit there for a second, the thoughts I had before running through my mind, before lifting my Gatorade and clinking it to his. 

“OK, so you’re not friends or whatever, but maybe he wants to be!” she tells me. Were we friends? Was that toast real? Did he really want to be my friend? A million questions run through my mind at marathon speed.

I pull the blue sleeves of my shirt down over my hands and chew my thumbnail. Alex starts talking to me about other things, including what she and Greg did at the fair on Thursday. I attempt to listen, but the whole time I continue to think about what Grant and I did at the fair, and our lunch together the next day. Alex saw Grant after I did, so maybe she knows why he isn’t here…

“Do you know why Grant isn’t here today?” I blurt out. I look up at her, and she’s frozen with her mouth open. “What? I was telling you about the fair…” she says, confused. “Sorry. Do you know why he isn’t here?”

She smirks at me and leans forward, resting her head on her hands. Greg got up to get something from the vending machine a while ago, and still hasn’t come back. “You like him, don’t you.” she says, her sentence sounding more like a statement than a question. “What? No! Why would you think that? I was just asking because you were with him yesterday…” I say.

I do not like Grant. Nope. No way. How could I like someone like him? A jerk who breaks girl’s hearts? He hasn’t changed his ways, and I doubt he ever will.

“He seemed fine. Now back to talking about the fair….” and she drones on until the lunch bell rings. Greg never came back, but she doesn’t seem to notice or mind.

I go through the rest of the day, trying to convince myself that I don’t like Grant. Although it doesn’t take much convincing. The fact that the thought even passed through my mind was absurd.

Alex comes over later that afternoon to work on homework. As we’re working upstairs in my room, she begins to talk. At first, I think she’s going to start talking about the fair again, so I kind of block her out.

“Gemma? Are you even listening to me?” she laughs. I look up from my Calculus homework and raise my eyebrows. “What?” I ask. “There’s a party tonight at Rick and Jordan’s house. We’re invited.” she smiles at me. I glance over at the alarm clock on my nightstand. “Alex, it’s already 5:00.” I say, hesitant about going to a party.

I wasn’t a party person. Personally, I didn’t like being in a crowded area with people I didn’t know. Even though they were my classmates, I didn’t socialize a lot with them.

“Don’t you want to know how I got us an invite?” she asks, shifting her position so her legs are crossed. She tosses her American Literature homework aside and folds her hands in her lap. “How did you ever manage to get us an invite?” I ask in a mock dramatic tone. She laughs.

“I talked to Rick and he flirted with me a little, so I flirted back.” she looks proud. I laugh at her. “You are crazy. But why do you want to go to this party?” I ask her, hoping she’ll let me off the hook.

“I want the both of us to go because I think it will be fun and you never go to parties. Like ever.” she says. “I don’t like parties.” I tell her. I return to my Calculus homework. “C’monnn.” she whines. She reaches over and shakes my wrist.

“I don’t really have an interest in going, Alex. Besides, you’ll have Greg, won’t you?” I ask. “Yeah, but I want you to come too. You’re my best friend, Gemma. Please come with me. You’ll have fun, I promise.” she says. I look up and we smile. “Yay!” she squeals. “I didn’t say yes!” I laugh. “Yeah but that’s your “yes” smile.” she says.

“What time is this party?” I ask. Alex looks over at the clock. “In forty five minutes.” she says and looks back down at her homework. I widen my eyes and stare at her until her head snaps up. “Oh shit we have forty-five minutes!” she yells and leaps off the bed to my closet. I watch her and laugh.

“What are you going to wear?” she questions, pushing aside sweatshirts and t-shirts in my closet. “Alex I don’t have clothes for a party.” I say, packing up my homework. “Well, I do. And we’re going over to my house. C’mon, grab your stuff, you can sleep over.” she says. A party on a Monday night wasn’t usually practical, but we had the day off tomorrow.

She packs up her backpack while I pack away some things for our overnight. “Are you ready? We have like, half an hour and we have about two hours’ worth of getting ready!” she says.

She drags me out the door and I drive to her house, where she leaps out of the car and is inside waiting for me before I even have the car door open.

I run to join her, suddenly feeling excited. This would be my first party of my senior year. I’m careful not to slip on the ice in her driveway, and wonder how she didn’t fall when she practically sprinted to the door.

Once inside, she drags me up to her room and starts digging through her closet while I take a seat on her bed. I text my aunt telling her where I’ll be and where she can contact me. She tells me to have fun, knowing that I don’t normally go out to many parties. She’s been wanting me to be a little more outgoing lately. “Enjoy the high school experience,” she says.

And a party is the perfect way to do that. In Alex and Rebecca’s opinion anyway.