MOVE BY THE MUSCLE~Nba Ken

Chapter 1: Miss The Old You

- 💋 Shayla Janae Knight 

I never thought I'd be in this position. Struggling to put food on my momma table, just for me.

She barely eats, she'll rather sniff crack and my daddy don't give a damn... He rather be out in our poorly rough neighborhood of Detroit, moving packs.

I love them to death though, but was I crazy for loving them?

Was I crazy for loving my mother that barely remembers my age? and barely remembers what happened the day before?

I can't be crazy..

It was kinda weird though.  How I saw her destroy herself for years and years on. Believe it or not, she use to be beautiful. Her hair was long, pass her back. She always stayed dressed down in nice attire, and her smile....man, her smile was what I lived for. 

It was like when she smiled, the world around me lit up. 

Her smile wasn't the only thing I missed. I missed her love, I miss her kissing me every night before I go to bed. I miss her kneeling down beside my bed and saying her prayers with me, just to make sure I say them right. 

 I miss the old her, she isn't the same. Her name is Evelyn Knight, she's 42 years old but she looks twice her age because of what she likes to do on the daily. I won't go in detail because it seemed as if every time I talked about it,  It made me sad . 

" SHAYLA!  wake yo ass up"

I rolled over on my twin sized mattress as I heard the familiar raspy voice of Evelyn, or should I say my mom. There she was, wearing the same shirt from the previous days before, with the same mice holes in it .

"W-what ma? Im tryna get some sleep" I replied as I held my right hand over my eyes, blocking the scorching sun coming from my bedroom window.

" have you seen my lighter?" she asked while she searched around my room, knocking down school papers in the process. 

I smacked my lips as I lifted up from my position on my bed. " Ma ian got yo lighter, go look somewhere else" I spoke in a exasperate manner. 

I really wasn't as irritated, because this was something that I was used to. Her coming into my room different hours at a time, asking me perplexing questions.

"mhm, you bet not be lying to me girl" she slurred before exiting my room, slamming the door on her way out. 

" jesus" I mumbled before rolling out of bed. 

I walked over to my nightstand and checked my old android, It suffered from scratches and multiple dents. 

Momma didn't have the money to offer me nice things but one thing you could say about me, was that I wasn't a sloppy girl. I always kept myself up, even though I only owned a couple pairs of shoes and even though I didn't own that many outfits. 

Shayla was my name. 

I'm a 16 year old sophomore in highschool. I Attend Cooley High School in Detroit, of course. I like it, well... I kinda don't have a choice because it's my only option, considering It was four blocks away from my house and three blocks away from my job. 

I work part time at the nearest corner store that only pays ten dollars a hour. However, I wasn't the complaining type. I liked providing for myself since nobody else could do so, because I was a gemini. I had goals in life. 

I planned to go to college and everything. I wanted to move somewhere far from Detroit. I hated seeing this scenery everyday, I was tired of the violence, I was tired of everything, I just couldn't wait til senior year was over so that I could move far away for college. 

I took my phone off the charger and slowly made my way over to my door, where I left my room to walk down the long creaking hallway to the bathroom. 

I was always scared to walk down the hallway when it was dark because this house creeped me out a bit, considering it was over 100 years old. 

When my grandmother died a couple of years ago, she left the house to my mom. I remember that day, I was happy and sad at the same time because me and my mom actually had a place that we could call home considering we were living out of different family member's houses. 

I was sad because that day on August 29th 2010, I lost my bestfriend, my grandma. I never knew what true hurt was until i lost my grandma, that hit me the most. 

I felt like she was the only person in this world that actually cared for me. She kept me up and when I was going through things she helped me get through, something my mom could NEVER do because she was always a user. 

It seemed like she cared for drugs more than she cared for me. If I was to give advice to all of the ladies in the world then it would be, not to get pregnant if you're not ready to own up to the responsibilities of a child. 

It's not even the fact that I want her to provide materialistic things but I want her to be there for me and i want her to love me, but I guess not. 

I spent that whole saturday morning getting ready for my afternoon shift at my store. My Morning routine didn't quite consist of nothing. Today i just pulled my hair back into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of jeans with a sweater and a jacket, considering it was a harsh 33 degrees outside. 

" where you going?" 

I looked back just as I was about to leave out the door. I observed my mom laying on the couch with the remote in her hand. " work, i'll be back tonight" I told her as I opened the door letting myself out. 

The cold wind instantly hit my face causing me to shiver, detroit weather was the worst....

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How y'all like it so far?🤔

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Shayla 🌸