philophobia • k.yk + k.ch | √

0.8 | MY

i now feel bad for writing these things about hwichan cuz they are like the cuteness mash of fluffiness but theres no going back

k.hy 🌀

"the patient asked for hwiyoung?" hwiyoung snapped his tear-stained face up towards the voice. the nurse's eyes smiled, her mouth covered by a mask.

it's been 6 days.

"please come in, hwiyoung-shi."

"what about us?" youngbin stood up, keeping a hand behind inseong's head to keep it from hitting the wall that's covered with wet pastel pink paint.

the nurse pokes her head back into the room.

"chanhee asked to see hwiyoung first." her eyes blinked in apology as she bowed before letting hwiyoung in.

"i'll give you two time. if you need me, press the bell. okay chanhee?" when she got a reply, she smiled and close the door.

"is he okay? why doesn't he wanna see youngbin and i?" inseong asked her before she left for her duties, rubbing away the sleep in his eyes.

"that, you'll have to ask chanhee yourself. the first person he shouted for when he woke from his nightmare was hwiyoung-shi."

-

"chani?" hwiyoung saw his figure under the blankets as he moved over to the bed.

"it's hwiyoung." his name made chani peek out from underneath his piles of blankets.

his doe eyes widen in shock as his small hand shakily reached out, wiping the older's tear-stained cheeks.

"how long was i out for?" chani's fingers outlined hwiyoung's too defined jawline.

he lost weight.

"technically 7 days, it's like 1am right now." hwiyoung was afraid to touch him, afraid that something bad will happen if he touches him.

"i saw you, in my dream." chani dropped his hand down to hold his.

"we were together, hah. it felt so nice. you were telling me to stay." hwiyoung dragged over the chair.

"it turns out that if i did stay, i would have given up. doc said my heart stopped and they feared the worst."

hwiyoung heard the long beep a few nights before, but he prayed hard. so fucking hard that that long beep didn't belong to chani.

"you're crying again, hyung." chani's hands worked fast to wipe off all the tears that leaked from hwiyoung's puffy eyes.

"i'm so glad you're alive. you don't know how much i was praying to i don't even know what. for you to pull through. chani, i-" chani silenced him with his finger.

"you lost weight, you're pale. your voice's hoarse. your hair is a mess." chani scanned him from head to toe.

"how can i just go and eat when you're literally fighting for your own life?" hwiyoung choked on his own tears, his hands tightly holding chani's.

"i'll always pull through. i've suffered for so long it doesn't matter anymore."

chani noticed how hwiyoung keeps trying to keep his hands away from his body.

"you know you can touch me." chani deliberately took the older's hands and placed them on his cheek.

"i'm afraid."

"afraid of what?" chani moved hwiyoung's hand up to his head. hwiyoung subconsciously started petting him.

"i'm afraid of breaking you. i'm afraid of going too far when i know i have limits. i'm-"

chani silenced him with a forehead kiss.

"but i love you. it doesn't matter."

"remember that time inseong and i needed to talk at the party?" chani nodded, playing with hwiyoung's fingers.

"i have philophobia, a fear of falling in love. i'm self-conscious. i do drugs, i smoke. i let people fuck me to earn money. why do you love a fucked up person like me?"

"i find peace when i'm with you. even if you do drugs, you smoke. i don't care, that doesn't define one's personality. i love you for being you."

chani locked eyes with hwiyoung.

"i know you wanna hug me, so gimme a hug." chani playfully raised open up his arms.

"i don't know, i'm afraid i'll go too far." chani huffed and put hwiyoung's hands on his waist.

"i'll tell you if its uncomfortable. if i don't, you're doing fine." hwiyoung then let himelf hug chani, his face digging into the crook of the younger's neck.

he smells of lavender and roses, like his bed and everything chani touches. its smells so good it's intoxicating.

"hyung, you're doing... things." chani's whimpering voice made hwiyoung realized what he's doing.

he subconsciously marked chani's shoulder with a hickey.

he smirked.

"but you like it, don't you?" he nipped at the milky white skin, feeling chani quiver under his touch.

"it feels weird..." chani let out an accidental moan before blushing in embarrassment and covering his mouth.

chani being teased is something else hwiyoung loves now.

"sorry, i'll stop. give me a moment."

"what are you-" chani's voice cracked when hwiyoung bit down hard, draw blood and leaving another hickey.

"ow. hyung, what did you do~" chani scrambled around to find his phone and opened up the camera.

he yelped in surprise, his hand feeling the two black-red hickeys.

"hyung~ shit, what if youngbin hyung sees this later? fuck, he'll kill you, hyung!" chani dug into hwiyoung's black converse bag that he had with him, taking out some foundation.

"how did you know i got foundation with me?" hwiyoung laughed as chani winced, dabbing the makeup sponge around the area.

"considering what you said just now, i figured." he winced again.

"how deep did you bite, omo."

hwiyoung climbed onto the hospital bed and backhugged chani, kissing his crown.

"sorry, baby. you're mine now, ara?" hwiyoung smirked.

chani just sighed in defeat and nodded lazily.