Darkness Rises [Tysh]

Duo

At this moment, everything has came crashing down for Josh. He finds nothing of his happiness anywhere, not one grain. None that struggled their way from the debris to his cold, dead heart. It's all been burnt at the hands of himself. He had done this, now he suffers. He doesn't know why he does it, why he hurts himself like this. To be honest with you, he's completely aware of the fact that there is a way to fix it, but he shuns it away. He forces himself to feel guilty, though, he shouldn't be. None of this was his fault. None of it. But he forces blame on himself and drew a target on his chest and a cross over his eye. He uses his body as a way for people to use him, break him, out of their own frustration and anger. But, he doesn't have that. So, he uses himself. He abuses his body to make himself feel better. But Tyler, he would think, does the same for me. He's my bodybag who's here to support me through my pain. And that's where the guilt kicks in. I'm a terrible friend, he tells himself. I shouldn't do that to him. I should stop. But he can't stop. But, Tyler doesn't care. He wants him to use him as a weight, to keep him leveled, balanced. Even if that means he hits him, or cries into his shirt when he feels terrible. He's the first person he goes to when he has trouble.

But Josh thinks otherwise. So, he stares down at the dust, all cremated flecks of his once found happiness. He stares them down and hopes one would return. He holds onto whats left, what's been protected in Tyler's chest. Stored away like some drink for him to take and leave and throw away when he's done. Josh isn't like that, but he can't help but think like that. He inhales the smoke and ash, coughing slightly as he exhaled. He scratches his arm, leaving red, angry lines on his forearm. They will forever stain his arm, scar it for life. When they leave, they leave lighter lines, completely white and reflective in the light. But, he feels a sense of pride as he stares at the little lines that litter his inner arm. He takes the time to count each one he sees. 18. 18 little lines on his arms. His smile drops. I want more, he thinks. I need more. He wipes the sudden tears with his opposite hand as he continues to stare at the lines. He starts scratching it again and again, never stopping, no matter how much it hurts. He finally stops and recounts. 32. He smiles again. Better, he thinks.

But his smile fades.

Why do you hurt yourself like this? Why do you want to end it?
Because nothing matters anymore.
What about Tyler?

Josh looks up to the figure floating in front of him. They tilt their head to the side. They're a glowing white with no features, just a shape.

Tyler wouldn't care.
Are you sure? He loves you very much, you know that.
Does he?
I'm sure of it.

The figure bends down and grabs Josh's hand. It pulls it into theirs and places something on his palm. They wrap his fingers over it and retract their hands.

Take care of this.
What is it?
Tyler's Love.

Josh looks down as the item glows in his hand. He holds it to his heart but, it disappears. He looks up and the figure is gone.

"Tyler? TYLER!" He screams but no one is around to hear. He sees his heart glow through his skin, through his shirt. But it doesn't mean anything now. Josh stands up and dangles a foot over the edge again.

"Test your luck." Josh doesn't look up at Tyler. He could feel his dead stare focusing on his back. Josh shakes his head. "You've been lucky this whole time, you want to test if you still are? I'll test with you." Tyler takes a long stride towards Josh and stands beside him. "If you're too scare—"

"I'm not." Josh finally looks up with tears glossing his eyes over. "I've never been scared."

"Keep trying to tell yourself that. Keep saying it until you brainwash yourself. The only reason you called me was because you were scared."

"I called because I wanted to see you, not because I was scared." Josh turned away from Tyler. Tyler only rolls his eyes and walks away.

"Then go ahead, test your luck. If you aren't so scared then test it." Tyler turns his head back and shouts from over his shoulder.

"If you love me, you test with me." Josh stares Tyler down. Tyler turns his head back and inhaled for a quick second before turning back around and facing Josh.

"I don't love you, Josh. I'm still here because I have make sure you don't kill yourself. I'm still alive because I need to. You can die. It won't matter to me. You would just be a failed mission to me." Josh could feel his tears slide down his cheeks, but he doesn't wipe them away.

"Then, shoot me. Kill me. If I'm nothing to you." Josh looks back up at Tyler.

"Gladly." Tyler rose his hand and pull his fingers into a gun. With a smirk written on his face, he clicks his tongue and Josh is falling over the edge. His stomach drops, but he doesn't show it. His eyes are shut tight and a few tears slip pass his eyelashes. He opens them for a moment to see Tyler staring from the edge. And he's smiling at him. He walks away and disappears from Josh's sight. Josh embraces the fact that Tyler doesn't love him. That he's nothing to him. He turns himself around to stare at the quickly nearing ground. The tears stop and so does his heart.

"Josh! Josh, wake up! Please, Josh, please be okay!" Josh is shaken awake but a concerned Tyler. Josh pushes him away and runs to the window and opens it. Tyler sits up quick but Josh scares him away with a short burst of fire. "Josh, what are you doing?"

"I'm testing my luck." Josh dangles one foot off the windowsill.

"Josh please don't. Please don't do this, not now," Tyler cries to him.