It hurts when you're gone (Ron Weasley Fanfic)

Chapter 37- Us

We heard the news on Potterwatch. Anthony Goldstein's uncle had died fighting the Death Eaters who'd stormed into his home.

Anthony's look of horror was forever etched into my memory. His body shook with unsaid grief. All of us looked at him in complete shock as Lee asked for a moment of silence. Several put an arm around him, trying to console him in any way possible. We tried singing songs for him; but his pain was unbearable to watch. Finally it was Michael who put him to sleep- he said that Anthony had to sleep through the pain. I strongly disagreed. How could one sleep if they had so much ache in their heart? All I could keep thinking was what would I do if the same were to happen to me.

Indeed, Anthony had taken the news very bravely, I thought, filling the glass of water next to his bedside. 'Sleep well, you'll be fine' I whispered, before leaving his side. I came over to my bed and sat down lightly on it. Death must be so painful- how did Harry take it all and still proceed ahead? A new respect for him arose in my heart. I tried sleeping but sleep wouldn't come. I tossed and turned in bed, before finally getting up wearily.

I looked across to find Neville, sitting up in bed, as wide awake as I was. I tried to lighten the mood. 'Listen, you aren't thinking of getting midnight snacks from Ab, are you? He won't take it too kindly if you knock on his door at 2!'

Neville smiled slightly, brushing the hair away from his face. How had his hair grown so long? And the gashes on his face, my, they still looked deep. 'Don't you think you need a haircut, Neville?' Neville smiled, running a hand through his hair. 'Nah..my Gran wouldn't want me to..she likes it better when I look like dad.'

'Oh.'

He pulled out a photo from his pocket- his father waved up, smiling, and his mother was fondling a baby. 'You?'

'Yes..I miss them so..I wonder, if they died-'

'No! Don't say it!'

'Sometimes I think death can put an end to their bleary life- I just feel so-'

'What do you mean, Neville?' I said, rushing across to his bed and looking at him like I was seeing him clearly for the first time. But when he'd tell me the sad tale of what happened to them, I'd cry with him. 'Why is the world so cruel, Neville?' I said, trying to mop up my eyes. 'But they were brave..it's what gives me the courage to walk the next step everyday.'

'Oh Neville..' I said sadly. 'The world will never completely be a happy place..I suppose we have to think it to be happy..we should be grateful for everything we have. For instance, this freedom we have now..'

'This great big room that looks after our every need' Neville continued.

'The sunlight in the morning and the cold, fresh air in the night. Also, great friends.'

'Like you.'

I looked sideways at him, his smile was unreadable.

'Really Neville?'

'You're a great friend to me, really. Hogwarts would definitely be worser for me, without you.' I could not tell if he was serious, the dark made it so hard to distinguish. But he did put a hand on mine, making me feel comforted. He had his legs, folded up, on the bed; but got up suddenly. 'I need to get some water, Y/N.'

I nodded sleepily and rested my head against the headboard, pulling up his pillow to spare my neck. But when I put a hand under it, I felt the texture of parchment- a short scrap of it. I knew better than to be inquistive about his private matters, but he'd opened his heart to me- and I felt somewhat privileged. 'Lumos.'

Ginny's handwriting? Why did Neville have something she wrote under his pillow? Now my curiousity was truly aroused. I read through it quickly, I did not want Neville to see me reading it. It read-

'Hey Neville.

You're probably thinking I suck for leaving you guys alone with the Scarecrows. I'm sorry, but the circumstances were such. Now, I know you've had feelings for Y/N since long. Don't lie to me, I bet you're blushing on the other side(!) I should tell you that Ron leaving her in the lurch has worsened her general opinion on boys. I can judge she is probably terrified of making the first move now- her heart is broken so. But she is healing, and is on her way to loving someone with the same sincerity as she did Ron. I will take Ron to lesson whenever he's back, but in the meanwhile, take care of Y/N (or will she take more care of you?) Keep safe, you both.

She's broken Neville, and she doesn't want anyone to sympathise. Just give her the pure love you have in your heart for her, and I know she'll accept you. I know she'll love you.

-Ginny'

I sat in complete disbelief, after putting back the parchment and extinguishing my wand-light. My mind wouldn't accept what my eyes had just read. Was it true? How did I never realize the fact? All of last year and this year- those innocent glances he threw, the way he agreed with me on everything; the way he was so shy with his feelings when I was with Ron..how did I never come to know?

Did I love him? Definitely, but only as a really great friend. My feelings for him stopped there, they weren't the same as I had for Ron. Yet, here I was, longing for one guy; when another loved me more truly than the former did. My mind was just in complete emotional turmoil. I heard footsteps approaching and immediately sat back.

Neville set the water jug down and sat down next to me. Whatever I did next, it was only for us both- we were alone, scared about the future, and lusting for love from the persons we loved. We both wanted to be loved. Neville held my hand again, our fingers intertwining and trying to find some solace in being unstable. His fingers were long and rough, scraped in several places. I ran my thumb lightly over those places, muttering about how he should take some care of himself. Our fingers finally found their place- my cold hand enclosed in his warm one. I ran my other hand through his tangled black hair, at which Neville laughed and pushed it off, saying he hadn't combed it for days; at which I retorted that atleast he'd washed it and that it smelled good. He laughed again and let me stroke his hair back. I rested my head against his shoulder and Neville put an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to himself; our hands still held. I slept that way for some time, but got up when I realized the poor guy needed some sleep too. But when I got up, he pulled me back by the arm. 'Let's just talk, Y/N?' How could I refuse him? So we talked into the night and till early morning; all those things we never knew about each other, our hopes and our ambitions, how our friends would be coping in the big world; I opened up to him like never before. It was only when I let out a huge yawn that he realized I was quite sleepy. I went back to my bed and we both dozed off to sleep.

The last thing I saw before my eyes closed were his eyes- the fading moonlight reflecting off of them made him look very happy.