DAY 2

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The dreams are back (inclusive yesterday when I slept in the fly I dreamed the same), and they never are nice, but well, I don't *los culpo*, anyway they always come back when I'm afraid or when I have my stupidness so high, (there are only a few times it had come only because) and, well, this things *superan* the level this time, I'm afraid, by so much things (all relationated with her, like always), and I am angry too, angry with me, angry with her, angry with him, angry with the entire world, by some much things that I won't metionate.
I want to be better, I want to be someone that deserve to be with her, I want to be someone that she likes, but I want to be better for me too, I want to dont be embarrassed of myself, I want to can show me without any problem, but not only that, I want to be proud of the things that I do, I want that my parents be proud of me and my things (both of them) I want to feel ok with all the things I do (photography, painting, writing, etc) and learn about everything that I can, I want to get better my body just like my mind and my habilites, all for be better, for you and for me. I have started with one idea to write, started writing something different and finished with something else totally different, who understands me.
I don't know why will I write this but meh, I'm really afraid of  that you think that I'm not sufficient, that I'm not enough, I think that shouldn't be so weird, the truth is that if I was someone else I wouldn't be with me, I would be stressed with someone like that, or maybe it's like someone told me once, he said that be my *pareja* would be so hard, I asked him why did he thought that and he said that I am so explosive, hiperactive, creative and that I was a weirdo and it would be so difficult for a men *soportarme* and can follow me, well he said men but it doesn't have why to be only for men's, the point? I don't *te culpo* if you are tired about me

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