Broken Ballerina

24. Amnesia

LOUIS' POV

I took a deep breath and logged into Twitter. Luckily, I'd written down my details so I didn't forget them before the accident. Turns out i did forget them.

I pressed the 'create tweet' button and typed 'hi :)'

 My finger shaking, i clicked the publish button and put my phone down. 

I turned on the TV, flicking through the channels one by one to distract me from Twitter.

I wasn't used to this automatic fame. 

I picked my phone back up as it vibrated in my hand. Niall had offered to switch off my notifications for Twitter but I' doubted i would need to.

There were numerous tweets from a girl called @louislover835203__ . They were all tweets of he same thing, including lots of love heart emojis. I retweeted one of them, guessing thats what you do.

I saw that the Louis Lover girl reacted to my simple press-of-a-button in a series of words with random letters afterward. 

I scrolled through my timeline, confused at a few of the tweets, shocked by others and touched by the kindness that my fans were able to give.

I saw that a girl called Anna Malik-Horan tweeted a link to me. THinking that anything Zayn or Niall's family tweeted to me would be important, I opened it.

Music and instruments kicked in as four boys surrounded a microphone in a YouTube video.

  I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine
And you’re somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you
When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
‘Cause I’m not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they’re still living in my phone
I admit I like to see them, I admit I feel alone
All my friends keep asking why I’m not around
It hurts to know you’re happy and to face that you’ve moved on
It’s hard to hear your name when I haven’t seen you in so long

It’s like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I’d hold you closer than I ever did before
And you’d never slip away
And you’d never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
I’m not fine at all  

I turned my phone off and chucked it down the end of my bed.

Harry.  

Tears landed in my upturned hands.  

Harry.

I remember you now.