Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 41

Janet

I rushed back to the hotel after dinner to call Toni. Everyone else decided to go club hopping, but I just wanted to talk to her, take her mind off of the whole thing with Face. Somewhere in my mind I was hoping she'd cancel altogether to come on the road with me, and I knew it was selfish as hell, but I could not help it.

She didn't pick up immediately like I'd thought, and it almost went to voicemail, but she answered. Her voice cracked with the first hello. Something was still wrong.

"Toni, baby, are you going to be okay?"

There was a long pause before she said anything, but I could hear her breathing. "Janet, my mother doesn't love me anymore." Her voice was quivering with tears. It made me want to cry. I wished with everything in me that she wasn't so damn far away. She was hurting bad, and I knew because she called me by my full name.

"That's ridiculous. What makes you think—"

"She doesn't want to talk to me, at all, and she doesn't want us to be together, and I swear to god I'm not going to leave you just because she—"

"Slow down, baby, take a deep breath. Please."

She sobbed almost silently on the other end. It broke my heart so much.

"I'm so sorry," she managed. "You're— you're in the middle of all this, and your tour..."

"Fuck my tour, Toni, I just want you to be okay." I was frustrated. She couldn't just let it be about her for one second. She was too selfless.

"I literally cannot decide between the two of you, this is not fair. I should have just told her sooner. She wouldn't have been so bent about it, right?"

"Are you serious?" I could feel my eyebrows furrowing. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her senseless. "Are you really suggesting this is your fault?"

"Well, It's been almost 2 months already, and-"

"Toni, stop. Don't-" I sighed. "At the end of the day, the only one you really should be blaming is him. Not you. And with all due respect, it's a little sad that your mother is so disapproving of it in the first place if you ask me. She doesn't have to agree, or like it, but from what you've told me it seems like she doesn't even respect it. And that's where you have to draw the line, do you understand me?"

She was quiet for a while. I continued. "You can't help the way you feel, she can't help the way she feels about us, but she should respect your decision, the same way you respect her. You're family. And you're a grown woman. She really does not have any control over you."

"I know, but it's not that easy, Janet. You don't understand."

I was getting so mad. Why was she trying to make excuses for everyone?

"Toni, listen to yourself, huh? Why do you feel the need to take the blame for all of this?"

"I don't—I don't know. I just wish it wasn't like this. 2 people that I love and care about so deeply, I'm about to lose because of me. And saying too much, not saying enough."

"Okay, well, you can't change what you said and didn't say. So now, what you need to do is give people time to get used to it. You shouldn't apologize for any of it."

She just sniffled quietly. I was fine to just sit on the phone, listen to her breathe. But even so far away I could hear her mind racing with thoughts of guilt and doubt and regret.

"Toni, baby, you're scaring me. Say something, please."

"I'm here."

"I know. Talk to me." I chewed on my thumbnail.