My Best Friend's Heart (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

        They dressed in black. The only color they wore was coral red on their toenails, hidden by their conservative shoes. Their hair was up in buns and no jewelry decorated them.  

        They drove the fourteen minutes in utter silence, the engine the only noise heard. They pulled into the driveway with gravel clattering around and notifying family and friends that they were there. They got out of the car slowly, not realizing they were doing so because of the mood in the air.  

        Walking up to her siblings, Kathryn hugged each one in turn. Tears were in her eyes as she glanced over at her mother. They walked around the house in quiet and farther on to the family plots. Many ancestors have been buried there, dating back to the 1800s. She spotted people that she hadn't seen sine she was sixteen. She didn't realize how many people her father met and touched emotionally in his life. They stood at the sides of the grave, looking at the casket that lay in waiting for its final resting place.  

        Kathryn held tight to Natalie's hand, gathering strength from the woman she loved. She was grateful that Natalie was there. She knew there wouldn't have been a way to get through this without her. Her heart ached with the loss of her father and her eyes once again watered when she remembered the last time he told her he loved her. She looked over on the other side of the grave and saw her brother Jacob. 

        Their eyes met and his lip tweaked up to the left in a almost reassuring smile. It turned into a grimace toward the end. Kathryn knew he must be feeling the stares and glares of family and friends. They willingly accepted her father's venomous words about him over the years. She felt so many things in that moment: pain, agony, relief, love, and support. Relief in that he was going to a better place and pain because she just received her father's forgiveness and she didn't have that much time with him before he left. 

        He left her! He left their family! Her mom couldn't survive without him, he gave Laura's life meaning. He left without telling Jacob he was sorry. He left without telling mom and his children he loved them one last time. How- How could he do that? Why would God take him right then? WHY? 

        She turned her face into Natalie's shoulder and sobbed. Her grief and pain overwhelmed her. She bent forward and her hand was clutching at her heart, trying to ease the pain it was overflowing with. Kathryn felt Natalie's hand on her shoulder, gripping it in comfort. She slowly gained control even though she felt like curling up in a ball on the ground and screaming. She turned to face the pastor.

        "We have gathered here today to put to rest a great man. Stan was a man who was not afraid to share his opinions and loved his family with his whole heart. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think of them. I remember he came to me one day after service and asked to pray for his family because they were going through a hard time then. He often said, 'Give as good as you get but don't hurt as you hurt.' He was kind and he was loved.  

        "He was and will always be a strong presence in our small town. God, we pray that Stan is up there with you now, looking down upon us smiling. We hope that he will always look down and continue to smile at us from above and that he is at rest and happy with you, Father. May he rest in peace. Amen." 

        Everyone looked up from the prayer and watched, solemnly, as Stan's casket was lowered into the ground. Each person took turns taking a handful of dirt and letting it fall into the void, landing on top of the wood with a soft thud. Each person whispered something or prayed while they let the dirt fall through their fingers.  

        Kathryn went up and everyone went still. She bowed and grabbed a handful of dirt and stepped close to the edge. She looked down at the wood that encased her father's corpse. She cursed him in her head for the things that he did and praised him for raising his children right. Tears fell hotly down her face and onto the casket below. She dropped the dirt slowly, feeling the graininess of the dirt sift through her fingers, an occasional rocks getting stuck. When her hand was empty she felt herself being moved my gentle hands. She looked and saw that Natalie was guiding her back to where she was standing. She felt stares and glares bearing down on her back.

        Everyone moved inside to the house for the food that was being served. Fried chicken, baked beans and carrots were among the varieties that people brought with them. Kathryn felt herself thinking about random meaningless things, going about in a daze. She had people come up to her and share their condolences and she had people that would back away from her if she walked past. She felt anger go through her body once more. She lost track of how many times she wanted to yell at someone and tell them that being gay wasn't contagious. How ignorant these people were. How primitive in their thinking they were. 

        She knew that she would have to leave soon because she promised her mother beforehand that she would not stay long. Even her mother hated her now. Kathryn thought that she could deal with her mother hating her but it felt as though she no longer loved her. She sighed. 

        How could one person feel so many emotions inside them at one time? 

        Kathryn glanced around and saw that Natalie was cornered in the dinning room. Her cousin Fred was leering down at her and Natalie looked a little frightened. Kathryn felt the anger rise in her again and walked quickly with determination over to her. She tapped Fred on the shoulder and he turned to her. 

        "Hi Kathryn. I'm sorry for y-" 

        "Oh cut the crap, Fred. Leave my girlfriend alone before I hurt a vital organ on your person. I don't want a scene at my father's funeral." 

        She saw the emotions run through his face, the confusion, the clarity and the... lust? She shivered with disgust. It felt like a bunch of insects crawled over her skin. She glared at him until he backed up and walked away. Kathryn turned to look at Natalie, the relief evident on her face.  

        "Thanks, love. He was creeping me out." 

        Kathryn grinned at the comment. 

        "He ALWAYS was a creeper. I'm glad I got here before he touched you. I wouldn't have been able to keep myself from punching him."  

        Natalie grabbed Kathryn's hand and caught the glares and the looks of disgust around them. She quickly dropped her hand and looked at the ground. Kathryn quickly understood and grabbed Natalie's hand. 

        "I think it's time to leave, Nat. There is only so much I can stand." 

        They quickly said their goodbyes to Kathryn's sisters and brother and strode to the door. They were stopped by a man who looked like he was no older than thirty.  

        "Kathryn." 

        She looked at his face and her eyes widened with recognition. 

        "Caleb?" 

        He smiled a little at her surprise. 

        "Hey. It's been a while. I'm sorry it couldn't have been under better circumstances. I know you've probably heard this a hundred times, but I'm sorry. I know how much you loved him." 

        She sniffled. 

        "Thanks, Caleb. So what did you want to talk to me about? There was a reason, right?" 

        He shifted uncomfortably. 

        "Maybe we can go outside and talk about it?" 

        Kathryn glanced around her and noticed how everyone was casually listening in. 

        "Yeah." 

        The three of them sat down on the porch steps, the wind blowing through their hair. 

        "Kathryn, it's about your father's will." 

        She inhaled deeply. 

        "I'm not in it, I know. He told me several times that-" 

        "No. Kathryn, I'm the executor of his will. He left you eighty acres of land."

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A/N: I literally cried when I was writing this. I had to take a break. It's the first time writing this story that I had to take a break in the middle of a chapter. I got some bad news this weekend so I channeled that into this. Sorry for the sad details. I hope happy comes soon. Happy reading!

CSwartz