Sander Sides One Shots

LAMP- Ok (Romantic or Platonic)

T/W: Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload. Please stay safe friends.

It was too much.

It was always too much.

The voices hurt.

He couldn't comprehend what was happening anymore.

It was too loud.

All the other three were talking at once. And all the voices were blending and it was creating such pain in his head.

Most days he could process things normally and he could act like them. He could react normally to them talking and everything felt normal.

But other days the sound would become too much and it would all swirl into one painful mess and give him a headache. It didn't matter how loud the others were talking his senses were on overdrive and it hurt.

They were all sitting at the dinner table and the other three were talking about something going on. Virgil couldn't really tell because right now it felt too loud to comprehend.

He couldn't take it anymore, he felt like he would break at any second. So he did the only thing he could do. Get up and try to walk away as fast as he can. He was hoping that no one would try to stop him.

This hope was demolished as Roman grabbed his arm.

Touch was even worse than sound right now. Roman's grasp on his arm felt tighter and heavier than it should. He tried to get out but that only made Roman use his other hand to keep him back.
He heard Logan say something about them needing to talk about this which caused him to realize that Patton and Logan were staring at him.

The eyes felt like they were glaring at him and he couldn't take it. They were making some more noise and the more he tried to escape the tighter Roman's grasp felt.

Then they set off the trigger; Roman put his arms around him to keep him still.

Virgil did something he had never done before. He screamed, loudly. He then yelled out "Don't Touch Me!" He hated how his voice cracked when he said that, he hated how emotion filled he seemed.

The others were in shock and because of this Roman loosened his grip enough that Virgil could escape. He dashed to his room fast enough that no one else could get him and he locked his door.

He laid on his bed for a bit so he could calm himself down. He savored the silence he had craved and it felt nice. His bed didn't hurt like the others did and he could finally calm down.

After a while, he felt better but not nearly enough to be around other people. He grabbed his phone and decided to listen to the Blurryface album again. The sound of "Heavy Dirty Soul" filled his room. He took out his journal and began to draw; something he found calming.

Halfway through the fourth song, he heard a knock on his door.

He became irritated. Didn't they get he didn't want to be bothered?
But he knew they wouldn't leave without an answer so he answered the door and all three of them were standing there. Concern in their eyes.

"What?" He said sounding more agitated then he meant to. He knew the others meant well, they just didn't understand.

They all seem to notice this and were taken aback by this.

Logan ended up speaking for the group.

"It has come to our attention that we had handled the situation earlier poorly. We would like to discuss this with you in order to handle it better if this situation happens again."

Virgil sighed. He appreciated that they meant well but he really didn't want to talk right now and if he was being honest their voices were agitating him. He couldn't handle talking to them. He could hardly handle talking to them right now. But he had to answer them.

"Look I know you guys mean well but I am not in the mood to talk. Sometimes my brain goes into states where I can't handle being around people. Even though I feel better now I'm in no mood to talk about this. I love you all but I need to be alone. Tomorrow we can talk about it as much as you like, but for now, I need you all to leave me alone so I can rest. Goodnight." And with that, he closed the door and went back to his bed.

He laid down and continued to listen to Tyler's voice and he began to draw once more.

He thought about the others and he was happy they meant well but sometimes they needed to know when to stop.

Because sometimes people want to be alone and that's ok.