30 Reasons I Hate Being Famous (Larry Stylinson) (BoyxBoy)

Reason #29

Reason #29 I Hate Being Famous: The Spotlight Isn't Flattering All The Time

Louis' P.O.V

A week later...

We pull up at the cemetery and get out, dressed in black dress clothes. I grab Harry's hand and lead him to where everyone is waiting for her casket to be lowered. I hug Eleanor's parents and say my apologies in hushed tones before going to stand beside the other boys. Some people give me dirty looks but I ignore them. 

After her casket is lowered and some things are said we head back to a funeral home for some snacks and the service. Once we get in I take a seat in the front row beside Harry and Eleanor's family. Within moments they start and everyone quiets down. A beautiful picture of Eleanor is in a large picture frame and I stare at it as her friends and family speak. I can't believe she's actually gone. I still don't even know what happened to her. I hope her mum tells me.

The funeral is done in  a blur and I grab Eleanor's mum's hand before she can go and get swept away by all the other guests here.

"Can I please ask you  a question?" I ask her. She nods.

"Of course."

"What happened to Eleanor? I know we had a messy break up and we weren't on the best of terms afterwards but I just wanted to know."

"Here." She digs around inside her purse and hands me a piece of paper.

"This explains everything that happened. When you're done with it just throw it away. I know I can't keep it with me any longer. It's just a painful reminder." She smiles sadly and I give a small nod. She walks away and I find myself a secluded spot in the room. There's a black leather chair and I sit down in it before unfolding the paper.

Dear family and friends,

I am sorry everything in my life has come to this. I no longer wish to keep living. I feel awful for the way I have been these past few years. Until someone told me how terrible I was I didn't realize it. I don't want to continue staying here in your lives.

You all are probably thinking "But you can just change! You can change who you are!" And I'm sure I could change. But I would still live with these haunting memories of what I did. What exactly did I do? Well, why don't I give you a list of confessions? I have
- Conned Louis into dating me when I found out he was gay
- Forced him to have sex with me
- Convinced him that marrying me would be a good idea
- Mentally abused him
- Attacked and bullied him

I am a coward and I can't go every day remebering how I put him through that. I can't forget how even though he is finally with the one he loves I forced him to be away from him. I still love him but he doesn't love me.Sure, I could've found someone but now I won't. I'm sorry to everyone who will miss me. I'm so so sorry to put you through this but I'm going somewhere better. You don't need to forget me but please forgive me. I love you all.

All my love, El

P.S. Louis if you are reading this, I can't explain how sorry I am. Please get married to Harry and adopt some babies. Remember the good parts of me, not the bad ones. Please forgive me. I love you Louis. 

"Louis? Are you okay?" I look up and find Harry standing in front me. I wipe my cheeks, not even realizing I was crying until my hands come away wet from tears.

"Yeah." I tell him.

"What is that?" He says, pointing to the letter. I hand it to him to read as I go to find El's mum once again. Once I find her I tap her shoulder. She turns around, surprised to see me again.

"Louis?"

"I have another question. How did she..." I trail off, not wanting to finish my sentence.

"She took pills. Overdosed. The least painful way to go." She tells me. I nod my head before giving her a hug. 

"I'm so sorry." I tell her, holding back my tears.

"Louis, it's not your fault."

"She killed herself because she couldn't handle what she did to me. If I had never brought her into my life, she wouldn't have taken hers." I whisper. 

"She loved you Louis, she just did the wrong things to keep you. If she thought what she did was for the best, then it's done. It cannot be undone." She gives me a sad smile and pushes me away. "Go home Louis. Live your life just the way she wants you too." I nod my head and turn away. I go to Harry and grab his hand, pulling him out of the building and home. 

We discuss what happened for the next few days and come to the same conclusion. It was her dying wish for us to be together, so that's what will happen.

~~~

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