Beautiful Things

Chapter 26 - Coming

HE WOULD BE COMING. Hewouldbecoming.

Suddenly, my problems expanded much further past just werewolves and brothers and the supernatural - I don't know why, I mean, it shouldn't. You'd seriously think I'd be a lot more freaked out over werewolves than my ex, but I wasn't. My ex scared me a lot more than Oscar or Vee or any of them ever could. Maybe it was because they were set in stone, meant to be. Xavier, though? He was unpredictable, an unknown variable. Who could know what he'd do, what he'd say, what he'd find out? I shuddered, and curled closer into myself, tucking the quilt my grandmother had made for me last year close around my body.

"Hey? Bae? What's wrong?" Brian was giving me his concerned look, one full of fear and generosity and kindness and all around goodness. He wanted to help, but at this point, what could he do? He was my brother; my hero, back when we were little. I wished I could still see him in that light, as someone who could swoop in and save me. Guard, protect, shield me. I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I needed to pull myself together. I already knew Xavier was coming - I just needed to face it, face my past, like I said I would. That was what this summer was for, after all. Xavier was just a new version of my past. Oscar was my future, or at least, I hoped he was. "I'm fine," I repeated.

"No, you're not." Brian laughed dryly. "You don't have to see Xavier, you know."

"No. I know I don't, Brian. But I... I want to." I need it. The release, once he's gone. I want to yell, I want to scream. I deserve it, I fucking deserve it, if I deserve anything.

A knock at the door, three light raps. I stood. I brushed my pants off, fixed my shirt, cracked my knuckles, and smirked back at Brian. "I'll be fine. Worry for him, if anything. Or for my lungs. Mainly his face, though."