Beautiful Things

Chapter 27 - Leaving

I OPENED THE DOOR. Well, opened wasn't the word. I slammed it open. It opens outward too, so it hit Xavier hard, making him stumble a bit.

"Oops." My voice suggested anything but. "Sorry."

"It's fine," he was rubbing his shoulder. I tried to suppress a bit of a smirk, but some still came through, I'm sure. I'm not that good at acting, unlike him, apparently. "Are you, uh, going to invite me in?"

I shrugged. "Do you need to be invited?"

"…is this a trick question?" He sounded scared.

I rolled my eyes. "Come in." Brian was at my back as I moved toward the living room, making as though he wanted to punch Xavier. I did too. I channeled my better self, though, and didn't. I will not commit murder, I will not commit murder, I will not commit murder--

"Why did you do that to her?" I turned around, and Brian was growling in Xavier's face, pinning him against the wall. "Answer me. You broke her, you made her cry. Nobody makes Bailey cry. Do you see how strong she is? How she's here, struggling, fighting? Not for you, you fucking asshole, thank God not for you. No, she's fighting for herself."

"I-I'm sorry Brian," Xavier was cowering under the presence that was my brother. "I love her! That's why I came here. I was stupid that night, I wasn't thinking--"

"And you're not thinking if you truly believe you can just get back together with her!" Brian yelled. He was menacing, truly scary for the first time in his life. I wonder if this was how I looked earlier. I decided to step in.

"Brian, I get it. I'm pissed, too. I'm past angry, whatever that could be." I lay my palm against his forearm, feeling the beat of his blood as it rushed through his veins. I willed him to calm, forcing every sense of tranquility into my eyes. I'm fine, they promised. Let go.

"Sorry," Brian released his grip, his voice gravelly. His voice sounded as though it had been put through a blender. He cleared his throat and repeated, "sorry."

"It's fine," Xavier whispered, falling on the couch.

Brian whipped around. "I wasn't talking to you!"

Xavier cowered into the chair. I laughed a little.

"So, what did you want to say? What you drove all the way here to do?" I asked, crossing my arms as I sat across from him. Brian coughed a bit, and left out the front door, but not before shooting Xavier a look that read not to touch me. I smiled back at Brian, silently thanking him but also informing him I can hold my own. Brian nodded, Xavier unaware of our silent exchange. Then he was gone, the door swinging in his wake. I leveled my gaze back upon Xavier.

"I… I came here to apologize." He said. "To tell you - as I am sure you already heard - that I love you. That you're everything."

"Well," I stood. "You're going to have a long, lonely drive back home. Because you're nothing to me, not anymore. Give my mother my regards."

"Bae, wait!" Xavier pleaded. I sighed. He was like a lost puppy.

"Yes?"

Before I could say much else or before he could, his lips were on mine and I was struggling in his grip. I ripped my face away from his and hissed in anger.

"Who do you think you are?" I wiped my mouth off. "Don't ever touch me again, do you understand? Do I need to fucking spell out that we aren't getting back together?" I was seething, angry, terrified, nervous. All of these feelings and thoughts and emotions brewed together into one big cacophony of fury that I was letting out upon him. At this point, I wouldn't put it past me if I killed him. Or worse.

I could see Xavier gave up trying to be nice in that very second. "You want to know why I slept with her?"

That was a new word. Slept with. So not only did he kiss her at the party. I should've guessed, really. I raised my eyebrows without showing the betrayal I felt, the betrayal I shouldn't care about anymore, but that I do. "Enlighten me."

Xavier's face was taunting, taunting me to punch him, crack all the pretty bones in his face. "She was better than you. I liked the way she felt, the way she kissed, the way she moved. She was ten times better at everything than you could ever be, especially better where it matters most. I had the best sex with her than with anyone, ever. I didn't even bother feeling guilty. I'm only here because-" I swung my fist at his face. I didn't let him finish. As my knuckles met his cheek, and I felt his skin soften and bruise beneath my hand, I was satisfied. He collapsed to the ground, his weak little self caving in from one little punch I could have done a lot better with.

I crouched down beside him. "I won't kick a man while he's down, especially not someone like you, but I will beat you verbally. Now that, I'm good at," I smiled. Verbal abuse was my speciality. "I may not be pretty, I may not be pleasant, I may not be all these things you think I should be to you, but there is one thing that I am, and that's that I'm strong. I lived through our relationship, after all. I lived through being your girlfriend. That counts for something. And you know what else?" I got close to his face. "I won't come back. I refuse to come running right on back to you, because Brian was right. You don't deserve to be fought for." I slapped the same cheek I had punched just five minutes ago, and he reeled in pain, his eyes squinting and tearing up.

"Stand, and leave. Don't ever talk to me again. Don't text me. Don't call me. Don't even mention my name." I said. He stood, wobbly, but he stood. He walked over to the door, his hand pausing on the doorknob. He glanced back at me, and I put my hands on my hips. I motioned for him to go. He swung his head back around, defeated.

Then I watched my past walk out the door, and I tried to memorize the sound of his car pulling away as I cleaned up the floor.