Life Diary

A reminder to 15 year old me

I have always wanted to tell you this because you are so afraid of everything.

You worked hard. Too hard to try and prove everyone to become worth of their satisfaction.

You often missed sleep, you forgot to eat, you lost track of time in doing your homework.

You forced yourself too much and I'm very sad that you think pushing yourself like that will help you to aim your goal better.

I'm here to tell you that, it doesn't have to be that way.

You can study but not to pressure yourself in getting good grades but to earn knowledge.

You don't need to have impressive grades to satisfy your parents. Grades don't count anything, not even worth of your sacrifice if you pressured yourself.

And also, you need to chersih yourself more. Learn to love yourself more by being healthy.

Eat up, drink more water, take more vitamins and go outside to take a walk or jog. You don't need to think about this as a burden. You can enjoy it. Because your health is so important and you need to take better care of yourself for the future. You are doing this for yourself - not everyone else.

You don't need to CARE about negative people and stupid rumours. Remember those girls who used to talk about you behind your back in class and you often hear their painful words flew to your ears when they laugh at your looks and personality?

Yeah, anyways those girls now don't matter to you anymore because now they are uncomfortable and jealous at your future success when you excel in competitions and have skills they don't have.

Seriously, you don't need to worry about strangers' negative opinions about you. You don't live to satisfy everyone so it doesn't matter if someone dislike you entirely because you exist. It's not your fault your existance bother them and they have no rights to trample all over you because of their stupidity. Ignore them. If you wish to get over it, just give them proof that you can succeed without them ruining your effort in enjoying your life.

Last but not least. Enjoy your passion. Sometimes you feel immensly peaceful if you give yourself a break and play your guitar. Or you can try to sketch, doodle, or paint your sketchbook because it's surprisingly fun.

Know that the past and present may be harsh, cruel, frustrating, hard, complicated, and sad but you could always anticipate that the future is way far better than this if you believe it.

The future will be very fun. It's a nice place and you won't be worrying over silly stuff like that anymore.

You will be facing issues and challenges you might never face before but you'd be surprise how mature you handle the situations peacefully.

You're going to be all right.

I'm very proud that you've come this far.

You're going to be okay.

You have everyone you love to support you.

You're going to be happier.

I promise.