close enough to perfect

( a/n I know this is bad and short because I dunno how to work wattpad on my tablet lol enjoy if you can)

     Ya ya. I'm a cutter but you don't know my story behind it. I started when I was nine. I took my mother's sharpest knife and ripped across my skin. I watched as my bright red blood dripped down the drain. I didn't care. I didn't feel it. I then started to cry and just stare at my now cut up skin. I wondered who would care. I guessed no one. I had just started the worst habit in my life.

     Hi! I'm Rikki. Everyone makes fun of my name. A girl named Rikki. They call me a boy and yell at me when I go in the girls bathroom at school. I'm in 10th grade. There is way too much drama in high school. I thought having no friends would stop the drama but it didn't. It made it worse. I'm a loner with light blue and purple hair and light blue eyes. I think I'm really ugly but guys think otherwise. I sorta have a boyfriend. His name is Dacoda. I call him Coda though. Enough bout me though. I'm boring.

     Its a Friday morning. I wake up, get dressed, and put on my makeup. I look terrible without it. I grab my school bag and head out for the bus telling my mom I'll eat at school. One more thing you should know about me. I'm really skinny. I weigh about 90 pounds. I should weigh at least 150 I think. I also have one brother named Cory who is 17 and one sister named Gabrielle who is 19. Cory is like my best friend. As for Gabi not really. I'm the youngest. One thing you should know, being the baby of the family isn't all its cracked up to be. The bus just arrived at school. I get off and head straight to homeroom. I find Dacoda on my way though. I gotta say hi. We talk then I'm on my way again. Coda is a senior. He's 18 and I'm 14. I know I'm a year younger than the rest of my class. I started kindergarten when I was 4 and caught on quickly. I'm really smart.

     After school I grab a granola bar for supper and head up to my room. Hopefully Dacoda's online. I take a bite of my granola bar. That granola bar is the first thing I eat some days. Other days I just skip it all together. You maybe can't tell but I'm anorexic. I listen to downstairs for a moment. This is what I hear:

     "You know what? I want a divorce." my dad says.

     "Sure. You're always drunk anyways." my mom replies.

     "No"

     "Well when we get a divorce, I get full custody. I still can't believe you choked Rikki that one time."

     Then I heard him scream and I heard a loud thud. He had knocked out my mother. That man had knocked out my mother. I needed to find Cory. He would help me.

     I walked into Cory's room.

     "Cory?" I said into the empty room.

     "Gabi?" I was again talking to four walls.

     I went downstairs only to see my mom run out the door with Gabi. I haven't seen mom since then. I walked outside only to see the car back down the driveway with my only sister and my mom in it.

     I screamed for Cory. He came over to me. He was only at the neighbors playing basketball. He asked what was wrong but all I could get out was:

     "She's gone" Before I burst into tears. After I was done crying, Cory asked "Who's gone?"

     "Mom and Gabi."

     "Where did they go?"

     "I don't know. Mom and dad were having an argument they said they should get a divorce. There was a thud then I saw mom run out the door with Gabi and they left"

     "Does dad know?"

     "He don't care he's drunk. Its not safe here anymore."

     "It never was."

     "I'm going to my room."

     "And do what? You just said it isn't safe."

     "Cut while I think of something to do."

     "Cutting don't help shit Rikki."

     "Maybe not for you."

     "Not for anybody."

     "Well doing it anyway."

     "Fine. Start packing."

     "Why?"

     "Because I have a lot saved up. We are moving.

     "So we will live by ourselves?"

     "Yes in an apartment most likely."

     "I'm fine with that."

     Then I went to my room, grabbed my pencil sharpner, broke it, and made a gash down my arm. I didn't care. Then I shoved my good clothes in a suitcase, threw in my blades, and everything else I would need.

     Cory and I then snuck everything in his car and sad we were going to the supermarket. I wish that could have been the last time I saw my dad.