Sixteen with a Drug Addiction

Chapter Four

I've never felt this good before. I  have never been so happy or felt so alive and to be honest, I am enjoying this feeling even if it comes from something so bad. 

I got up as I usually did and looked in the mirror. I was glad to see that the effects weren't so noticeable this time. My eyes weren't puffy, my skin didn't look blotchy and I wasn't shaking. My body must be getting used to the high of the cocaine and realising that it's helping my mental wellbeing.

I took my morning shower and made sure that I dressed to how my mood felt. I don't think I had ever looked so good. I took one last look in the mirror before I saw my brother in the corner of the mirror. I don't know how long he had been standing there for but he didn't look very happy, in fact he looked scared. 

 When I knelt to my little brother's level, he backed a few of his little feet away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he replied "I saw you do the naughty stuff".I knew exatly what he had meant but I don't know how this affected him in anyway or the fact that he was out of bed when he should have been sleeping. His repsonse made me so angry that I flew up and punched my hand into the closest wall. How dare he say that to me when all I have done is look after him when our mother wouldn't. Without me he wouldn't have food in his mouth, the freshly ashed clothes he has on his back or the electricity that he uses to watch the telveision before and after school each day. Without me doing everything for this family there would be no family.

 I didn't realise until after I had calmed down from my rage that this had scared him even more. I quickly wiped the tears from my face and straightened my skirt out. I saw his hand satch quickly under the bed and I slowly made my way over before sitting on it and trying to explain to him what was happening. After hearing my side of the story, he slowly and cautiously came out from under the bed to sitting next to me and placing his smaller around around half my back. 

We sat like that for a few miinutes before I interuppted and told him he had to get ready for school. We carried on with our morining as per usual with the laughter and the chatter from both brothers and acted as if nothing had happened other than he helped me with the lunches this morning and tried to help my hang out a load of washing by handing me the pegs. 

After dropping the boys of at their school, i dreadely carried on to mne. I had a math test this mroning and whilst I had studied, noone could ever be excited for a test. I know that my addiciton had helped calmed the nerves for this test and it didn't really phase me like it had before I did my thing. 

I think I passed my math test but I wish this day would hurry up. I have no exciting subjects today, only math, psychlogy and physical education. The only good thing about today is I met this new boy, his name is Jay. I have never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. I know males aren't meant to be beautiful but he has the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen. 

He seemed like a bit of  a dark and mysterous kind of person. He didn't really say anyhting to anyoone nor did he make an effort. He sat at the back of the classroom with nothing but his phone, listenting to his headphones for the entire 45 minutes of the lesson. I coudlnt' help but stare at him and at one point he caught me. He looked deep at me and let out a small smile which funnily enough melted my heart. The bell ruined it and I let go of the staring competition and packed my books back into my bag.

I was about to walk out of the classroom when Jay say hey.