MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!
SCOTT PILGRIM...
...VS...
...TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
• Scott Pilgrim: •
One, two, three, four! Yo, welcome to Toronto, land of mystery:
It's not the York you've sung about, and one far cry from Tennessee!
I'm rated "A" for "Awesome"; I'd rate you about a five-point-two:
"Too many teardrops from your whining", says my IGN review.
I feel I've loathed you for a thousand years; call me your biggest hater,
And the frigid words I spit: the bitterest Cornetto flavor!
Yeah, I've heard your fans: the kids all claiming you're the next Madonna,
But I've seen your latest vids, and girl, you're snorting marijuana!
You're a Naga, looking like the spawn of some LaVeyan coven;
Sampled "I'm Too Sexy", yet won't even show your belly button!
Your love life is a Catastrophe; you've got some major baggage,
'Cause you're not well in the head: the brain inside is surely damaged!
Mere band-aids won't fix the holes I'll leave as I tear you asunder,
Swiftly putting your whole "Gorgeous" Reputation six feet under!
Hitting hard as solid Mithril, I was born with rap-proficiency;
Insulting you's like garlic bread: I could go at it endlessly!
• Taylor Swift: •
You're on the track with a goddess; better show some respect.
They say Sparks Fly whenever I'm upset...
This is my M.E.R.B. monologue, where I'll be speaking bluntly:
My sharp lyrics cutting deep like Knives, I'll fell your freaking Plumtree!
Well, I'm going after you for hella more than just a buck, man,
And keep your useless gaming trivia; I don't give a Puck, Man!
You hit it big with hipsters; all the lonely Starbucks-lovers,
But your movie Sex Bob-ombed, with Super-bad box office numbers!
Ask a certain other Scot whose talent everybody came here for;
Taking full ownership of this sick beat, I'm striking major chords!
You'd best know you're in trouble when I dubstep on the stage:
Inducing Infinite Sadness, I'll lock this rat up in a cage!
You're no true man, Scott; you're a rotten Apple: one I protest openly.
Attack me all you want; the drama only fuels my poetry!
Your Precious Little Life story looks set for a tragic turn,
Because to me, the whole damn thing's just six lame picture-books to burn!
Roasting this prick was Red-hot fire on my part; I keep the pressure,
Making sure that you can never, ever get it back together... like, ever!
YOU ARE READING
Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #42: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
FanfictionThe MERB Season 3 finale, and quite possibly the single longest rap battle ever composed; it's over TWICE as long as my own series previously-longest existing battle! God help us all... VIDEOS: - Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4onzMDrtx74 ...
