Primrose.

Peeta suggested I write to my little sister. He said it would help ease the pain of her death. But nothing in the world could ease the pain that has been forever building in my heart since her death. But if it helps. Which I'm sure it won't but...

Here it goes.

Dear Prim,

How do I start this? Hi? No. I guess I'll just start with I'm sorry. So so so sorry. Sorry for letting you go. Sorry for not looking after you. Sorry for so many things. I would change back time Prim, if I could. So that you could be here next to me. So that i wouldn't have to write this. Oh Prim come back. Come back as the little girl I knew. You grew up way to fast for my liking. Becoming a women before you had time to be a child. Your childhood was wasted and destroyed, manipulated and twisted by the Capitol and the Games. And Mother's depression, Fathers death, and my unwillingness to look after you and mother. The Games completely ruined our family. We tried to put it back together for your sake. But after everything I put our family through it could never be the same again. The Games made us that way Prim. But that's over now. Because we won. But at a much to high cost. I hope your happy. Wherever you are. I hope your with Dad. Telling him all about our life's without him. How much we needed him. But I expect he know's that already right?

It's been six years Prim. But it feels like only yesterday that the pain kicked in. I have an ache in my heart, that can only be filled by a little girl with beautiful blonde hair and such a wonderful personality. Who is the only person who can make me smile so truly and for longer than a second. Oh Prim I need for you to help me smile. Darling, why did you leave me like this?

It's your birthday Little Duck. You would have been 20 years old. 20! I always celebrated your birthday. Peeta thought I should let it go. I tried because I knew you would want me to. But you don't know how hard it is to forget someone who was such a huge part of my life. I still celebrate it Prim. I hope that's ok. I miss you so much. I would do anything for you to come back.

I wish I could have seen you have your first kiss, to see you fall head over heels for a boy, to see you fall in love. You would have had your heart broken and I wish I could have been there to sitch up the pieces. I wish I could have walked you down the aisle. I wish I could have seen your kid's. The dreams you dreamed as a little girl can't come true. The wishes I made were hopeless. Why did they have to tear you away from me when you hadn't even lived your life to the full. I had so much more to teach you. It show's just how cruel and unfair the world is.

I have two kids Prim. A little girl and a baby boy. Imagine that! Me, a mother! I named my little girl after the other one who has occupied my thoughts every single minute of every single day. You. She reminds me of you as well. She is just as delicate and seems to know what I'm thinking before I think it. Ironic isn't it? She has your blonde hair and Peeta's eyes. But Finnick, my baby boy, he looks like Dad. The same hair and structure. But he has my eyes, Prim. You would have made a perfect Aunt.

Prim I wish you could see them.

Speaking of new life, Buttercup's a Daddy now. I kept him Prim. For you. I still sometimes have regrets about not drowning him but mostly I am glad for his company. He is the only part of you left. He helped me get to terms with your death. Helped me understand. I think he is starting to warm up to me. He still wants entrails but he doesn't hiss as occasionally as he used to. Imagine me and Buttercup friends! I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it. But he will never admit he likes me. He now has a dozen adorable kittens who are so tiny that they can just crawl under cupboards and it takes Peeta and I forever to get them out. We usually have to coax them out and if that doesn't work then we have to bribe them with treats! Mother has taken a few of our hands as has Gale. But I couldn't bear to give them all up and Buttercup has grown ever so protective over them. He reminds me of you, you know? You used to care for him just like he now cares for his kittens. I think he feels that they, are you.

Mother has successfully finished the hospital in district four. The same hospital I'm sure you would have worked in Prim. We talk regularly on the phone but Mother and I will and can never have a proper mother-daughter relationship. She abandoned us Prim. Falling into the world of depression and sick, cruel happiness. You forgave her. But I will never be able to.

Oh Prim! I have such pain in my heart. A giant gaping hole opened in it when you passed away. And the only way to fill that hole is by the impossible. Whenever I talk about you, or write about you or even think about you it's in past tense. How can I come to terms with only speaking of you in past tense? But you will never be gone. I promise you that. You will always occupy my heart.

I blame Gale for your death. I know I shouldn't and I know you don't. I also know that you don't want me to blame him. But Prim it's so much easier to blame him than blame myself. Because I know it's my fault. If you were here you would deny it and say it wasn't. But Prim it is. It is.

Please come back. I can't live without my Little Duck. You will always have a place in my heart. No matter what happens to me no one will ever tarnish my memory of you. The cruel world we live in takes the most innocent and pure lives. And Prim you were the purest thing about me. But this isn't about me. It is about you. My darling baby sister. My Little Duck. My Prim. Your mine.

Whenever I see a Primrose I pick it up, and kiss it. It makes me feel closer to you if that makes any sense. My eyes leak and I keep the flower in my pocket. It feels like your there with me. Guarding me. Just like I guarded you. But for now Prim you are my guardian angel.

Primrose Everdeen, never will anyone forget your great sacrifice. I promise to pass your memory on to all my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, my great-great-grandchildren. But I just hope you know that I would swap places with you in a heart-beat. Prim I wish it was me. But in a way I'm glad it's you. I would never have wanted you to go through the pain I did and have. You have been through so much hardship and pain. No 14 year old should have gone through what you did. No child should have gone through that pain. But you did. And that only made me realise how unjust life is.

I love you Prim.

Love,

Katniss x

I expected that to be difficult to write. Difficult to write about the life i was living while you weren't. It wasn't. I feel as if a great weight has lifted of my shoulders. A weight that has been tormenting me for 6 years. Wherever you are Prim, I hope you read this. But if you don't please just know that I love you and would do anything for you. But for now I shall store your letter in a box. With a Primrose inside. To remember you by and also so that you know it's for you and no one else. Peeta asked me whether or not it eased the pain, to write you a letter. And there was no use lying to him so I answered,

'No.'

Because I know the pain will never ease or leave. Because you will be etched into my mind and heart forever. Making it so hard to forget. But one day I'm sure the pain will dull. Even if it's only a little bit.