We Found Us

I Didn't Mean It

Carol's POV:

The girls and I were walking around backstage waiting for the year to finally end and have 2016 begin. Somehow Kerri and the guys had managed to get Luke somewhat sobered up and out into the New Year's Eve celebration.

He had already performed and gotten his little interview so now he was just wandering around looking for more booze I suppose. I was still hurt from what he'd told me back in the hotel despite knowing he was drunk. He's said a lot of dumb things but that had hit me the hardest because it might of been true.

"Caroline!" I heard Monaco call me over.

"Yeah?" I asked walking towards him.

"We know you don't wanna do this but we need your help." He began saying, "We need you to kiss Luke for the cameras when the clock winds down."

"Fine."I stood there upset.

"Just one kiss and I'll pull him away then he won't bug you the rest of the night." He explained.

"All I wanted was a perfect night for my birthday. I wanted to have fun and actually be excited for the ball to drop, but it's not like that. This kiss is the last thing I want now. I hate him I don't even wanna be near him." I explained.

"One kiss, and done I'll buy you a nice dinner for your birthday. Just for you, Kerri and the girls." He smiled.

"One and done. And I want seafood." I agreed.

"Okay you got it, we have like two minutes. Go stand by him Carrie and Mike so we can get the pic." He instructed. I walked besides Carrie and struck up a conversation with her, completely ignoring Luke.

"How's your night going?" She asked.

"Could be better, how about yours?" I asked.

"Same." She shrugged.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4" the crowd began shouting.

I turned towards Luke and prepared myself. His alcohol breath stung my nose but I kept fake smiling. He pulled me in close and wrapped his arms around me, my hands went to his waist. I closed my eyes as did he as he went in for the kiss. His lips were soft and comforting but I didn't feel that usual spark. It felt empty.

"Let's take you back to the hotel before you get anymore drunk and start to regret this night even more in the morning." Monaco pulled him away as promised.

"Kerri said whenever your ready that she'll walk y'all back to the hotel too." He told me.

"I just wanna go back now, I'll follow you so I can go to bed already." I explained.

"Okay, do you want me to get him a separate room?" He pointed towards Luke who was walking ahead of us.

"No, it's fine I'll stay with Jordan and Kris tonight. We're flying back tomorrow though." I told him.

"I'll get him home before soon after too." Kerri whispered as we all walked into the elevator.

"Carter do we got any whiskey in our room?" Luke asked.

"Not sure." He shrugged and looked away.

"Not like you need any." BM said.

"Shut the hell up. You're just another pain in my ass." Luke raised his voice.

"Calm down Luke." I said walking out of the elevator.

"You too, you've done nothing but been annoying all night." He began arguing with me.

"Have I really? The only thing I've done is tried to help you,  but you don't seem to realize it. You beyond fucking drunk making yourself out to be a piece of shit in front of everybody. Do you think this is what we all wanted when we came down here, no we didn't. Just stop, tonight was supposed to be one of the best nights ever and all you've done is ruined it!" I began crying.

"It started with you taking forever to leave this morning! None of this would of happened if it wasn't for you!" He screamed at me as we walked into our hotel room.

"You're so arrogant Luke. Sorry for trying to dress up and look nice for you for once. I feel like a fucking single mother, I never get to look nice anymore because I'm constantly watching three kids alone!" I yelled back.

"What do you want me to do? Quit my job? Stop making money and supporting our family?" He yelled back.

"I don't know at this point! I'm tired of not having someone who's there for me. I'm tired of being what feels like alone all the time. I'm tired Luke!" I wiped my eyes away.

"I'm tired too!" He sat down.

"Tired of what? Tired of partying every night? Tired of constantly drinking? Tired of being surrounded by beautiful girls screaming for you?" I cried.

"I'm tired of this! Of coming home and going through the same shit of us arguing! I'm tired of being married!" He blurted out.

"You know what? Maybe tired of being married too." I admitted as I began walking towards the door.

"I didn't mea-" He began saying.

"If you didn't mean it then why would you say it? I'm done."

I took off my wedding ring and threw it to the floor before completely walking out of the room. It was one of the hardest things by far that I had ever done, but it felt like it needed to happen.