All Gone Wrong

I was going to fly out to Washington. Rob and Preston both lived out there and IRL time was overdue. But that wasn’t the only reason I was visiting. I was staying for a week and I figured that I might as well tell Rob about my crush on him. Of course, it could all go wrong, but I would never have to see him again after I fly back.

~

The plane landed and I was sitting in one of the cafes and the airport. I was waiting for Rob and Preston to come pick me up. They were 25 minutes late. I texted each of them a few times, but neither of them answered. I was in the middle of texting Preston when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked behind me and saw the two people who were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.

“Sorry we were late. We were recording and totally forgot,” Rob said. I could tell that the whole sentence wasn’t complete truth, but I didn’t push it.

“Why didn’t you just take a cap? At this rate, you would’ve already been there and unpacked,” Preston asked. I just stared blankly at him.

“… I don’t know where you live. I would probably end up taking the driver all around the state and then not be able to pay,” I said.

“Oh, yeah… I forgot about that,” Preston said. We all laughed and headed to the car.

“TO THE POOFLESS MOBILE!!” I shouted, joking. I saw Preston and Rob glance at each other quickly and laugh. Their laughs sounded forced though.

Poofless... That would ruin everything… But they are too close of friends to be dating, right? Right? I thought.

~

The three of us were sat in the living room. We were watching Game of Thrones when Rob got a text. “Hey, Mat? Mitch wants to talk to you, but you haven’t answered your phone,” Rob said. Then I remembered: my phone was upstairs in the guest bedroom.

“My phone is upstairs! Can you tell him that I’ll call him back in a second?” I said. He nodded and I ran upstairs.

I looked at my phone and there were 8 missed calls from Mitch. I quickly called him and he answered on the first ring.

“What took you so long?” an annoyed Mitch answered.

“We were watching GoT and my phone was in the other room!” I said in a defensive tone. I could just see him rolling his eyes.

“Anyway, have you told Rob yet?” Mitch asked. I froze.

“Uh… t-told him what?” I stuttered. I haven’t told anyone about my crush.

“Duh, your undying love for him,” he answered in a tone that suggested how obvious it was.

“I d-don’t l-like Rob,” I said.

“It’s pretty obvious, Mat,” he replied.

“Is it really?” I asked,

“Ha! You admitted it! And no, it’s not as clear as I make it seem. I’ve known you for a while,” he said. I calmed down and accepted it.

“No, I didn’t say anything about it. I mean, I got here a few hours ago,” I said. I heard him scoff.

“But you’re the Nooch! You’re a straightforward type of person!” he said, sounding a bit whiney.

“Fine! In that case, I’ll tell him now!” I said. In a sense, I meant it but didn’t mean it at the same time.

“Great! Leave me on the phone though, will you? I’d like to hear this,” Mitch said. I just put my phone in my back pocket. Then I ran back downstairs. I really wish I hadn’t.

On the couch was Preston and Rob making out. I stood there, frozen. There was a horrible feeling in my chest and stomach: heartbreak. My eyes stung. But at least they didn’t notice me. I ran back upstairs as fast and quietly my legs could take me.

“May? No words have been said yet,” Mitch hesitantly said through the phone. I slowly walked into the guest bedroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned on it. “Mat? Can you hear me?” Mitch asked. I pulled the phone out and put it on speaker.

“I’m not going to tell him,” I said. My voice cracked slightly.

“Why not? You seemed set on the idea. If not now, then when?” Mitch asked. I took a shaky breath.

“Never. I’m never going to tell him. He doesn’t love me and he never will,” I answered. I tried to hide the sadness in my voice, but I just couldn’t.

“What makes you say that? You wouldn’t know that!” he said, his voice sympathetic.

“Yes I do. I saw him sucking face with Preston.” He didn’t say anything for a while.

“Mat, that could mean anything! They might not be dating,” he finally said. He tried to sound reassuring, but I could tell that he was doubtful.

“Is there really anything else it could be?” I asked my tone harsh. He didn’t answer. “Exactly.”

Randomly, I heard a doorbell ring. “I’m sorry, Mat. Jerome’s visiting. I gotta go, bye,” Mitch said, hanging up. Coincidentally, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Hey, Mat? You in here?” I heard a voice ask. I hoped with all my will that it was Rob. I just needed to talk to him; he was still my best friend. But it wasn’t Rob.

“Mat? You’ve been upstairs for quite a while…” Preston said. I didn’t open the door.

“Well, I walked downstairs and saw a Poofless make-out session. I’m kinda scared now,” I joked half-heartedly. Scared… Definitely freaked out.

Preston sighed. “It’s more than that, isn’t it? I can tell. Which one of us?”

“Uh, which one of you what? What do you mean?” I asked innocently.

“You know what I mean. Which one of us do you like? And I mean, like, like like,” he said. He didn’t sound as happy as he usually did.

“…”

“Answer, Mat!” he insisted, almost shouting. “Is it me?”

I didn’t know whether to answer. I always wanted to date Rob, but deep down I knew he didn’t deserve me – I didn’t deserve him. At first, the “he doesn’t deserve me” sounds very conceited, but that’s not what I mean. He deserved better than a piece of shit like me. Preston deserved better than heartbreak, a life without his lover.

“It’s Rob,” I whispered. It was so quiet. I wasn’t sure he had heard me or not. But when I heard his answer, I knew he had.