letters // yoonmin

4

November 2nd, 2017

Park Jimin,

Lately, I've been having stomach pains. At first, it was just like little stomach aches, and I thought it was from something I ate.

I would feel bloated and it felt as if I ate a full meal after only eating something as simple as an apple.

But as time went on, it got worse. It started with indigestion. Then it started to feel less like a stomachache, and more like there was an animal inside me trying to claw its way out.

I scheduled a doctors appointment so they could maybe give me some idea of what's wrong with me.

At first, I thought it was just from worrying about you, but I feel like it's more than that now.

Enough about me and my problems.

I went to visit you again. Your mom finally came to see you. While she was there, I guess she told the doctors to allow me to see you.

She called me and told me this, so I called my boss and told him I was sick, and then I drove to the hospital.

I sat in your hospital room for hours. I came back every day for the past few days, and I'm going to keep going until you wake up.

I enjoy spending time with you at the hospital, even though you don't know I'm there.

You look so peaceful when you're asleep.

That sounded creepy.

Sorry, I don't mean it in a weird, stalkerish way, but I like to watch you sleep.

At that moment, you looked so calm and peaceful, like there was nothing wrong, like you were just sleeping. Your relaxed jaw made your cheeks look chubby and adorable. Your small nose was cute as ever.

A few strands of your hair had fallen in front of your face, and as I leaned over you to brush them away, I had the urge press my lips against your soft, plump lips. Your ethereal beauty calmed me and made me feel happy. You made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like someone had wrapped me in a warm blanket. It felt as if everything was alright, like everything was perfect. It felt as if you would wake up any minute and greet me, and we would move on with our lives, happily together.

For a moment, everything was okay. Everything was peaceful and calm, with the light filtering through the window and illuminating your perfect features.

But then everything came back to me, like I had gotten hit by a semi truck of bad memories.

I remembered that you were in a coma, not a deep, peaceful sleep. I remembered that you may never wake up, and I could never talk to my best friend again. The love of my life.

Anyways. That was the cheesiest thing I have ever written. I just felt like I needed to put into words how I felt at that moment.

I remember the first time we hung out. That was when I knew.

We had gone out to get coffee at the place we met. I ordered an Americano and sat down at the two person table next to the window.

I thought you weren't going to show up, because why would someone as perfect as you want to hang out with someone like me?

But you proved me wrong. Minutes after I sat down, you walked into the coffee shop. I remember how the light was shining behind you, making you look like a god coming down from the heavens.

I remember how my lungs had decided to stop working at that moment, and my heart felt like it was going to break through my chest.

You smiled when you saw me and walked over.

I couldn't breath. Your smile. It was so beautiful. I couldn't believe that the most beautiful human being on earth was actually coming to talk to me.

You sat down and started talking to me, as if we had been friends forever. Although you still made me nervous, it felt easy to talk to you.

We talked for hours, until your girlfriend called you, asking you to come home. I remember how my heart had dropped down to my stomach. Your girlfriend. Shit.

You called and texting me every day, and every Saturday we went out for coffee. I was so happy with you.

I knew I was in love.

Yoongi