My Mommy Experience

update

Hey guys I'm so sorry I haven't been updating it's very hard to since I'm either taking care of Marcel sleeping or at school...

People have literally been asking me questions for when he gets older like am I gonna let him date..am I gonna whoop him spank him etc.

I have no clue how to answer those questions and it annoys me to the point where I'm in a bubble with just me abd my son just ignoring everyone bc I get no time alone.

I even skipped school a couple times for my health like I needed time alone and I needed some time to release some of this stress and spend time with the person I love and adore.

Moses and I are really going through it right now we're both stressed we both have our own problems...basically Moses sells drugs or whatever and it could be pretty scary I gotta worry about his safety I gotta worry about whether Marcel is gonna wake up the next morning and have a father in his life. Its crazy

And since my auntie is just ugh you don't even know she does so much unnecessary shit to me and him he's 16 and I'm 14 yet we were born a year apart October 1st 2001 December 23rd 2002 I can't date until I'm 16 which I think is so stupid like I have a baby with this dude We've had sex! What are you trying to keep me from that's not already done for fuk sakes?!

Moses also has trust issues like one day he promised me to my face that he was gonna wait on me...a couple days later I called his phone over 30 times each time a girl answered the last time she was all like "we busy" I was still on maternity leave we had Spanish with the bitch I didnt even know about her he sat by her in class like he had a big ass hickey on his neck when I came back that friday

I fought him in the parking lot crying kicking screaming going off going off on his homeboys I was hyperventilating while he was tryna hold me so I coould calm down but that just caused me to try an get him off me and shit I couldn't breathe bc I was outta breathe and Tryna yell hit him and get him off of me so I was about to pass out

I got dressed up for him I put on my fitted pink dressed costed 30 fukin dollars I did my hair in this cute ass bun like bitch I bounced back from that pregnancy like Beyonce I was lookin good I went on a rampage that day when we were arguing in that same class

the bitch was in I aint even know anything about her I didnt even know the bitches name yet he had ability to sit by her and shit he wouldn't let me see his phone it was dead so I took ot put it on a charger that I kept in my backpack I forgot what happened after that but he snitched said I had his phone bc I didnt wanna give it back

somehow we ended up outta the classroom and I was talking to a security guard his sister was sitting right there too when the man was talking about he aint shit and aint gone ever be shit but I saw him with some girl and he had turned went the other way I found him outside with the kids who were having lunch we had already had our lunch so I was going around searching for a bitch named Mesha

Like the kids in Spanish knew who she was but they the type to not snitch and shit but I found him outside they were separated she was with a group of her friends and he was talking to my cousins (this whole time I had a period stain bruh) but long story short I straight up kissed his ass in front of her face oh yeah but I finally found out who she was

and I went up to her I stood over her I wanted to hit her ass so hard they could tell I was trying not to so they kept coming up to me trying to get me but I was like I'm not finna hit her and I said "So you the bitch who kept answering my nighas phone" and her answer was "yeah" and I was like "So why would you do that shit and you knew about me" she said "well he told me y'all weren't together" so I kinda calmed down bc he told hee we weren't together which I could understand

but I did some petty shit like get her number became "friends" we had a pep rally that day and I was following Moses I held onto his hand for dear life and he was all like I want Mesha so I told him well she gone have to share you I followed him and we passed Mesha and he looks at me and runs the other way to get to her (dumbass) so I turn around and walked and was like "Mesha no hoe shit come here" I still wanted to beat her ass tho but I was like "lets be friends" got her number and shit but they don't talk no more bc she had a boyfriend that whole timw but she aint give a fuk and I found some shit out about hee just in case she wanted to try me but there's one situation that he was fukin with some girl and I went to his house at 12 something in the morning but through all the hurt we've caused each other we still forgave each other for the shit we've done but I'm not fukin around tho

I might do little petty shit and make him hella mad but we've never gave up on each other bc he's atill young and I understand that since we're not together other bitches are ginna come at him and since he's still tryna figure his self out and shit and he's under all this stress he's gonna give into another female eventually but he hasnt been fukin around with other females I hope it stays that way but knowing my luck it's not just know he's hitting this shit and he gone forever put me before all those females 

Y'all its been stressful I've asked for a therapist bc I'm depressed and I need medication it's been recommend by my teen mom counselor she's sent forms home and every thing my cry for help has been ignored twice all bc she just thinks I'm being dramatic anyone else has this problem?

But its 2 am and I just needed to rant I'm finna pass out (I think a rat died behind the couch or some shit it fukin stinks but goodnight love you guys and I'll be updating soon and all that type shit gn