Tulisa and Toby

Part 1

Hi. My name is Tulisa, and I'm six years old.

I was hoping today is the day I find my new family. I have been in care for about three years now. I don't like it here, but I can't go back to my parents. They never looked after me right, so they aren't allowed to look after me. I have watched so many children get adopted and I just kept wishing that soon it will be my day, maybe even today. I was sitting at a window looking out into the beautiful day ahead when a car pulled in the drive way Out of the car stepped a woman and her husband. As soon as I saw them, I looked away. I didn't want to get my hopes up again of being adopted. The disappointment hurt too much, and I couldn't go through it again. But as I sat there they came over to me. They stooped to meet my height and started talking. I didn't talk though, I just nodded my head. They would never go for me. Even if they did they would never understand me. What if they got taken away as well? I couldn't bear that. I didn't want to attach myself to other people. But they seemed to like me. I kept my eyes fixed on the ground wishing it would open up so I could hide inside the earth, secretly hoping that they'd pick me. I didn't know if would pick me though since I never spoke to them, and all the other care home children did, but something must've made them choose me.

I was happy, but I knew for them to keep me forever that I would have to start talking, and I didn't know how I could do that, as I haven't spoken out loud since being taken away from my parents. It's not like I didn't try to talk. I did, just nothing came out, as if fear had frozen me all over. I need to gain confidence with then, then, maybe my ability to make a sound will come back, but how do I gain the confidence? So many questions I dare not ask, but I wished I had the courage to. I was happy to have a new home but I will miss the care home. The care home was the only home I had known of for a while. I didn't know if I had any sisters and brothers but I hoped so because I needed someone to play with, but I found out I had no one to play with, which made me sadder. I was hoping they might have a dog or another type of pet. When I arrived, there was none. But when I woke up the next morning to something licking my face, I was rapped.

I had a kitten and I was allowed to name him. I named him Toby. He was beautiful and soft. As our eyes met, I knew I could tell him things, things nobody else would understand and that he wouldn't be able to tell anyone else what I have told him. I smile swept over my face as Toby purred as if agreeing with my thoughts. I made sure nobody was around before I said "Hi, Toby". I was yet to know that he would become my best friend, something or someone that I could tell all my secrets too. I hadn't ever felt like this about anyone or anything. It was something special, something that I could cherish and no one could take that away from me. Toby never left my side unless he was getting some food, water or in his litter box. He always slept at the end of my bed. When it was cold I would let him get in between my duvet and sheet.

Mum just asked if I wanted to go somewhere. I nodded and she suggested the beach and I just nodded again. I am still trying to get comfortable with my new surroundings and my new family. I had only ever been the beach once before, but I was too young to build sandcastles. The smell had always interested me. The salt mixed with sand. I wished Toby could come the beach with us, but my mum said it was too dangerous for him. I just wanted to spend all my time around him. I have never loved anything more than I loved him. I felt safe when he was around, but I knew my dad would look after him. Toby was more like a brother to me than a kitten. I didn't even have to say anything, he would just come and lay on me and I would sit and think while petting him, as he purred contently. Me and mum were happy, and I even let out a tiny giggle when mum accidently hit her hand with the spade. Secretly I was starting to like my new mum and dad. Only Toby would ever know this though. We had a blast at the beach and I would miss it heaps, but I could not wait to tell Toby all about the amazing day that I have had. Mum decided it was time to go home so we picked up our buckets and spades and slowly walked off the beach. The sun still had heat behind it, and the road burned the bottom of my feet. So I was happy when we reached the car. We put our buckets and spades into the boot then hopped into the car. The ride home was quiet, but I didn't mind. All I wanted to do was see Toby.

It wasn't long before mum pulled into our drive, parked the car, got out and opened my door to unbuckle me. I quickly jumped out and ran to the front door. I opened it carefully, knowing Toby might be behind it. He was so I gentle picked him up and carried him into the front room, where he jumped onto the sofa and purred. I cuddled him and whispered in his ear what an amazing time I had with my mum. Toby was sitting there curled up on my lap as I sat on the sofa. He seemed as if he was listening to every word I said. As I told him how my day was I stroked his lovely soft fur. For once in my life, I was starting to feel happy and I my guard was coming down a little at a time. Maybe having Toby in my life was doing good things for me. Well whatever it was, I hope it continued to work. Being with mum and dad as I now call them, is good.

My life is beginning to come together. My life feels more important to me and I cannot wait to make some friends around here. Toby will always be my friend and brother, but I think I'm finally ready to make friends. Best start at making only a few first. Don't want to be overwhelmed by too many people wanting to be in my life. I was happily talking to Toby when my dad shouted, "Tea is ready." I went into the kitchen and mum helped me onto my seat. For tea we had sausage and chips. I ate and drank all my tea. Mum told me to go upstairs and play with my toys while she filled my bath. As I went up stairs Toby came along and walked beside me. I love playing tea parties with my dolls and Toby. Not that Toby can sit on a chair or anything. After ten minutes mum called me for my bath. I love having baths and playing with bubbles. After my bath, mum helped me get dressed and tucked me into bed. She read me my favorite story and kissed me good night. When the lights go out I curl up under my bedding and shut my eyes.