They finally let me out of the hosptail. I'm still very worried about Nat though. He didn't wake up after I left his room in ICU. They say he's still alive, but I don't believe he's really here. He might be breathing but he's not alive. I go to see him everyday. I have a little hope whenhe moves at the sound of my voice. Then the hope vanishes when I look at his pale face and it reminds me of how I must have looked to him when he brought me in here.
I hold on to his hand as long as possible. Then that nurse kicks me out after visiting hours. I headed home one night and looked up at the moon. The memories came flooding back to me. I have so many great memories looking up at the moon with Nat. He's always been there for me. The nights after my parents would leave and the rape was over, I'd call him up and he'd risk his hide to come walk with me and calm me down.
If it wasn't for him, I would have already killed myself. I remember, one night, it was the worst rape I had gone through. I called him bawling my eyes out. "Nat it happened again! Help, I need help!".
"I'm on my way Izzy. I'm comming. Don't worry, I'm on my way." He soothed. With in two minutes, he busted into my house knowing if he'd knock I would be to scared to answer. Before I knew it, he was on the floor in the corner beside me. Smoothing my hair and 'shhing' me. Then, he made the suggestion to walk and made the comment about how beautiful the night was.
I was too weak to walk, so he carried me out the door and held me up and I stumbled out to the road and regained my balance. We walked slow. He talked like he had been in the same position I was in. Maybe, it's because he knew everything I was going to say before I said it. This happened so often he knew what to expect. That is, until I came out with, "The whole time he was in me, I thought of you". He gave me a look, as we were sitting on the guard rail, like I had two heads. I then corrected myself by saying, "I mean, I was wishing it was you. At least then I'd be willing."
"Izzy-" he started, " I want you".
We both turned our heads to the moon and made our wish as the only shooting star that had ever passed through the town of Smiller passed the moon. Then, I turned to his face as it glittered in the moon light. That was the first real kiss I ever had.
