Under my skin

Chapter 1 - Same old, same old.

*Author's note*

Hey guys, hope you enjoy reading this story, please vote and fan me ;)

Love you all!

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Chapter 1 - @Julia_Golafshan (twitter)

I ran off to my room sobbing. Dad and I just had another one of our 'episodes', and I just couldn't stand the pain I felt in my chest.  

I felt like I was breaking apart slowly, but at the same time I loved Dad - I just wanted him to stop hurting me so much. Our family is what you could call dysfunctional; dad abuses me physically and verbally and no one knows about it.

My mom left our family when I was 4; she took off and never told anyone where she went. 

I know she loved me, she never stopped telling me that, but she had to get away from dad, and that's what she did. I don't blame her - there are some days where I just don't feel like I can keep going, I want to give up, to not have to care anymore. 

I've felt like that for a long time, and for years I've been trying to take away the emptiness, the loneliness in my chest.

I started cutting when I was 15, and now I'm 17 - I've found that it actually helps get rid of my pain... until it comes back. Then I have to cut again, and so the cycle continues. None of my friends know, I'm pretty sure they would majorly freak out if they knew what I do when nobody watches.

But no, I don't always act like I'm a depressed teenager, I'm an a really good actor and so nobody knows that there is anything wrong with me.  

My dad doesn't know I cut either, if he ever found out I think he would probably just call me call an attention-seeking bitch, he wouldn't care that I do this to myself - ironic, considering he leaves bruises on me a lot.

But here I am, droning on about my problems - I should probably introduce myself, at least: my name is Ivy, and like I said before, I'm 17. I live in England, and I absolutely love this country. 

I know it rains 95% of the time, but I love the weather, and am proud of where I live. But that's not the only thing I love about this place...  

One direction, the now world-famous boy band came from here! I absolutely love one direction, each and every boy is beautiful in their own way, and like every other Directioner, I fantasize about meeting the boys one day. Sometimes it seems that their music and smiles are the only things that make me forget about what's happening in my life.  

Of course I want to meet them, that would be the most incredible thing in the world, but I will never get the chance so I don't hope for it.  

My best friend Becky loves them as well, she has posters all over her room of them, and practically drools over them at school. Can't say that I blame her there - especially during maths.

My phone started ringing, and what do you know, it was Beck, so I picked up. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" she asked. I certainly didn't want to be at home, so I said "Nothing, what did you have in mind?"  

She laughed, and practically screamed "Nathan asked me to go bowling with him and Tyler, and he asked me to ask you to come along!!"  

"Wow babe, that's awesome! But let Tyler know that its not a date or anything, just as friends. I don't want him to get the wrong idea." 

Nathan is Beck's long time crush, and Tyler is his best friend - they're both pretty cute but I don't know... neither of them are really my type. Becky squealed, and I laughed; this was like a dream come true for her! But I was waiting for the right guy...  

I had only 'dated' once, and that was when I was 10, so it doesn't count.  

I snapped out of my daydream and tuned back into what B 

eck was saying.  

"...we'll meet up at 7 and have dinner there, sound good?" "Sure," I replied, "I'll see you there. And congratulations again on Nathan!" I hung up, and looked at the clock - 2:23pm.

To kill time, I decided to go to the park and go for a jog, so I grabbed a bag and put my phone, earphones, wallet and a book in my bag, quietly slipped out of the house.