my ideas that make the world even more complicated

2) Love

   I'm not going to lie I have recently thought I loved someone . But in the end of that experience it didn't end well, and the person in question doesn't know how I feel about them at all . It hurts knowing that if you express your feelings to someone you think you love , you don't know what will actually happen. They might not feel the same and break your heart OR You might get lucky for once and have the whole thing blow up in your face. Love is a battlefield against your worst enemy only the strongest survive . but what makes the strongest strong ?im my opinion the farther you are from it the better . Witch is bad for me because i still talk to them . The more you spend time with the person who you think you love the more broken you become. And believe me no one can fix a broken heart when it's broken to some extent. This is my case you all may have different opinions. You may have special people that can fix your heart. No One can fix my heart cause I don't know anyone I trust more than the person that broke it . Is this a common problem ?

People always tell me " Well maybe you haven't found "THE ONE"( if there is an actual person you're destined to be with) or " Don't give up just yet!" . I just say it's too late because i'm broken and I gave up on finding "THE ONE" when I fell into what I honestly thought was love. I still talk to the person , or try to every day . But like everyone else in this life they push me away . Is this a trend with everyone ? Now you may be asking what this person did to break my heart , well this person was in countless bad relationships , I didn't know how bad until I started talking to them . This person was so badly broken that they couldn't think about loving another person again .This is how I fell into "love " and this is what broke me . Knowing there was no way of expressing my feelings to them with the impenetrable barrier of pain in the way of the broken person that needed love but didn't think they could be loved

I always think to myself "Well, maybe i'm just hard to love cause I care too much about what the person thinks " . I wrote countless poems about me loving this person and about this person being blinded by pain to notice that I care . but maybe i'm wrong ,maybe I am the one that needs help with my irrational fear of what this person thinks about me , maybe i'm the person that can't see . I get that they are broken . BELIEVE ME . it's just so many people like this person some maybe more than others , this person has countless admirers but only pays attention to the one that they thinks they truly need . im at the point where i don't really care who they happy with i will be glad that they are happy . when i was younger i always heard the saying " if you love something enough you'll let it go "i never knew what it actually meant till i met this person .tell me if i'm wrong , but love can be a great feeling , like the gaps of the previous pain have been filled by this person , like this person never seem to leave your thoughts . That is until your fails outweigh the good in life and you do something wrong to mess up your relationship with the person you love , or you think you love . this is one of my fears , you finally get who or what you want and it turns out not what you expect , or its more than you expected , and you think ruin the one chance you get to find happiness .

I know how much it hurts to see someone you love go through pain and heart break because of loving someone else . them knowing that them and the person that think they love , me thinking the same thing watching them , me and this person are more alike than we seem , we both love something we can't have . We both are broken because of this from some similar reasons , and some not so similar . this person has already told his "love" how they feel , and i'm too much of a coward to even think about telling them . i could barely tell my two closest friends . is it common to be a coward in the game called love ? or is it just me ? i know most of these questions you won't be able to answer . i'm just trying to figure out how this works . most of my topics may sound like i've gone insane . well maybe i have maybe i haven't .and if my sanity depends on how much i question the system , then yes , in insane 

( but like you didnt know that already )