falling out of love

depression and comfort

we got over the fighting stage, of course we did, but what sucked was that we couldn't go back to what we were in 2015. we could never be that close again after six months of constant back and forth.

consequently, my best friend "depression" had returned to me in full force, begging me to push people away and to not put any effort in my attitude or appearance. after summer break—i was the worst i had ever been.

scars running down thighs and bandages covering my wrists. busted knuckles and busted lips because of my alcoholic dad. low marks, low confidence, low self esteem—everything was just underground.

the letters we wrote to each other soon turned to requests of me telling her to leave me alone and her writing back—begging me to let her be there for me. i hated confrontation, i hated talking about my feelings and most of all, i hated bothering other people with my problems.

but she just wouldn't leave me alone.

"we can just sit in class, you don't have to talk,"

"let me be there for you,"

"i got pancakes for you today,"

"it's fine if you want to cry,"

"i'm not leaving you alone,"