nintendon't 69

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  Thursday. Ed Sheeran Pillow's face greeted me when I awoke. As I glare down to the door across the room, I see a small envelope laying on the ground.

I do a summer salt out of bed and crawl over to the paper, picking it up gently. Carefully ripping open the envelope and unfolding the paper inside, I read the contents aloud: "To, Nintendo Syxtifore Jr., and whomever it may concern, the student under the name: Nintendo Syxtifore Jr. is hereby suspended from School High on Thursday, September 11, 2014 and will be welcomed back to the school on Friday, September 12, 2014. The reason for suspension is the following:
•Tardiness
•Obscenity
•Harassment
•Destruction of personal property
•Public nudity
•Assault with a firearm
•Possession of narcotics
•Bomb threat
•Stinky locker
•Murder
•Manslaughter of an adolescent
•Sexual assault
•Trafficking drugs
•Trespassing
•Looking weird

This is a warning suspension, as it will not be recorded on your permanent record. We highly encourage that you do not repeat these actions as next time, they will be taken seriously.

Sincerely,
Your backyard friend,
Mr. Superintendent."

Wow, I'm suspended. On the second day of school Cool.

I grab my Tru-Moo brand, one-strapped book bag that has coffee stains all over it and flip open the strap. It's not my coffee. Don't be mistaken.

I feel, since I'm not going to school, that I should burn all of my books. As I dump out my stinky, smelly, icky books. Icky sticky. I notice a small, blue, piece of paper fall out. Hesitantly, I pick it up and flip it over to see what's on the other side.

I feel my toes and my nose get all clamy. My throat does a silly dance and my stomach does a split. My heart start vibrating. Sweat pours into my mouth and it tastes oh, so good. I'm terrified as I see a blue Charlie Brown with a blue Christmas tree on the blue paper. It brings back a haunting memory...

I see myself, except I'm human. I have a small, rolled up, blue piece of paper in my hand. One end of it is in my nose and the other is on an old, white, hairy, pimply, sweaty, gross, wrinkly, stinky, ucky yucky, gooby, ploppy, flabby man's back. I appear to be snorting a white powder off his back.

My mom is there, standing next to us. She holds a black ZTE CITRINE LTE 4.0" touchscreen phone from Dollar General. I'm so jealous. It appears that she's recording me and cheering loudly. Why is my mom with these people?

Her nose is bloody with the same white powder from the old man's back mixed with her blood. After inhaling all the powder, I crumple up the blue paper and toss it behind me as I scream in pain.

The old man turns to me, and gets extremely close to my face. I feel his stinky, winky, ucky, yucky, no-good tootoo breath on my face. It smells like ketchup and mayonnaise. He calls it Fancy Sauce. He exhales through his nose and a slimy boogie flies out and lands on my lip. I lick it off. "Give that back." he demands.

Suddenly, I wake up from the memory. I'm shaking in fear with no reason behind it. What did that mean? Who was that girl? Did that actually happen?

Nonchalantly, I slip the blue paper in my soggy shoe and make my way to the living room. Every time I take off the shoe, it drips in sweat. Don't be mistaken. There's foot imprints in it, and I don't even have feet.

As I walk down the stairs, I hear my mom moaning in Braille. "What the fuck?" I scream as I walk into the living. She's moaning in her sleep, and is passed out, drunk. It's 7am. "H-hey, Mom?" I ask nervously. She snorts and continues snoring loudly on the couch. I shove her lightly.