nintendon't 69

Round 1: Fight

  Upon leaving fourth period, I spot Dylan down the crowded hall. Although I'm mad at him for lying to me, I can't fight my attraction for him. Even if he used girls in the past, I can tell it's different with me. He actually likes me. Plus, his ass was looking oh so juicy and so so yummy. Kind of like french toast.
  My mom used to make the best french toast, until she started hitting me.
  Now she makes good ketchup sandwiches.

  I start sprinting and shoving people out of the way, but I can't keep my mind off of ketchup sandwiches.

   I grab onto his bony shoulder and spin him around. When our eyes meet, he jumps back slightly and shouts, "Fuck! You scared the shit out of me."

  "Do you like ketchup sandwiches?" I ask him with the straightest, most serious face ever.

  "What?" he asks, baffled.

  "So, are we still going on our date tomorrow?"

  "Fuck me, dude," I hear him whisper under his breath. I reach down and rub his tummy and he swats my hand away. I try again but he is way too fast. I attempt a third time, only this time he shoves me and I fall to the ground, breaking my too-too nose yet again. "Stop it!"
  I get up and put him in a headlock and use my other hand to rub his tummy. He starts resisting and punches me in the gut. It hurt oh so bad, but good thing I can take a punch. I manage to pick his lanky body up and throw him over my shoulder. I'm giggling so hard, we're such a cute couple.
  He groans in pain and loses consciousness.

  "What do you think of that?" I say cutely. I'm so silly, using my boyfriend's catchphrase.
  He doesn't seem to laugh, he's only bleeding.
  His head is bleeding.

  Next thing I know, I'm in trouble yet again!
  Me and Dylan were both sitting in the principal's office. His cute, crusty eye is all purple and he has an ice pack held against his greasy head.

  "You two will be suspended from School High tomorrow for physical violence!" Mr. Principal yells to us.

  I turn to Dylan excitedly, "Now we can go to the orthodontist all day tomorrow for our date!"

  He gives me the most heartbreaking look, "You weren't joking?"

  "No, silly!"

  "Fuck, okay. Fine." he says as a fresh tear rolls down his face.

  We both leave the principal's office and I turn to Dylan.
  "You can pick me up at 7am sharp." I say with a giggle.

  He stares down at me angrily, "I'll pick you up after I leave my girlfriend's house."

  I gasp excitedly, He's coming to my house tomorrow?

  "Okay, boyfriend."

  "It's Dylan." he corrects

  "I know that's your name, Sweetie." I smile.

  He exhales looking oh so angry. He's probably mad that he's not at the orthodontist with me right now.

  "By the way, I'm sitting with Lunchbox Johnson today at lunch." I tell him. His eyes switch from angry to absolutely petrified. I then remember that they used to be boyfriend and girlfriend. "Oh yeah, didn't she hurt your peeper?"

  "I... uh..." he stutters.

  "Your hoo? Your twinkle twinkle little star? Your ding? Your pee-maker? Your dingaling a-ding dong? Your dingle hopper? I love The Little Mermaid. She's pretty and her boobs are big." I go on.

"So, uh... Why are you sitting with Lunchbox?" he asks with a shaky voice.

  "Her and her friends asked me to sit there so they could know what it's like to be cool. I'm bad, I got suspended. Twice." My face goes serious, "I'm doing God's work."