Pencey Preparatory Phonies

Copyright © 2014 by melownsall (USA-May)

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I was sitting in my room just thinkin’ about old Stradlater, crazy right? Thing was he was out with some new babe while I sat here having nothing to do. Bored as hell, that’s what I was, cause all I could do was contemplate about old Stradlater and grand Pencey. Chrissake, grand what an awful word I hate it. It’s phony. I mean do you even know what grand means? People should just stop using the word all together, it makes me depressed. Only lousy morons use the word when talking about something spectacular. I know someone who would adore the word, old Thurmer our headmaster at Pencey, he is such a phony. Boy, he got on my nerves he always shot bull about life being a game and how we should all play by its rules, I mean what a bunch of crap. The only ones who ever play the game are them hot-shots on the proper side, not me though I don’t play the game. The game is not worth it unless I’m with those goddam hot-shots, I mean what’s the point in that. Old Thurmer is always saying something like that or another, what a phony bastard never telling you straight out what he means. He oughta just tell me what he really means instead of just shooting a bunch of bull with that life is a game crap. He’s always giving me a helluva time about flunking classes and the sort, when really he just needs to just stop being such a stinking phony. All people oughta do is just say what they mean, they’re always twisting their words around like they got some high and mighty thing to say that’s all important, when really there just being phonies. Everyone really but mostly at Pencey people do, act all high and mighty is what I mean, they twist their words. Saying one thing but meaning something else. Boy, do I hate that. At least Stradlater and Ackley weren’t phony in that type of way, they were in other ways but not this way. Old Stradlater, what a moron he is, never revealing himself. Such a secret slob he is, unlike Ackley kid who everyone knew was a slob. I mean he clipped his fingernails in our goddam room once. He made me get my scissors and everything even after I had packed em up. Old Stradlater was something else though never cleaning up his razor or anything but always having time to look in the mirror at himself. Once he even convinced me to write a composition for him. He wasn’t too hot at writing so I remember him telling me to put the commas in the wrong places. I mean the stinking commas, he thinks the only reason he can’t write is cause of the stinking commas. What a moron he is thinking about commas when he’s getting me to write a composition for him, I mean I’m flunking practically everything. I hate it when he says that kinda stuff, about commas and all. He doesn’t want anybody to believe he is actually just lousy at writing, he oughta just admit it is all. The problem with Stradlater is he thinks that he’s some hot-shot that all the babes’ll go after, I mean he’s got looks but he ain’t that good looking. Old Stradlater is like a half phony, sometimes he’s alright but then the next minute he shooting some bull about stinking commas. I mean most people are like that, half phonies is what I mean, they aren’t one or the other but both. The whole school is full of em half phonies. What a bunch of half-assed phonies!