Shadowkissed (A Hemlock Grove fan fiction)

there's no such thing as "normal"

The sun is hot and high in the sky on Monday morning; everyone in the courtyard is laughing, the loudest of all of them a group of girls sitting on the steps of Old Main. Every time the pretty brunette cranes her neck to look over at the one-person bench a little ways down the sidewalk, Macy sags a little farther down on it.

She wishes it didn’t have to be this way. In fact, she feels pretty stupid that it is this way, but seeing Cornelia now is like having a repeat of the first day. This new year is supposed to be everyone’s chance to really put what had happened last year to their beloved classmates behind them—or at least on a shelf to be taken out at a later date—but even as Macy thinks this, she knows there is no way she can face Cornelia. Not without Jenny.

She nibbles a little on the edges of her ham sandwich and ponders her day. Only two more periods—Physics and Advanced Placement Calculus, which are probably going to be her most difficult classes—and she’ll be free to do whatever she wants to. One of the better things that came of the police station making her father the new head chief is that Macy has more time to herself, whatever that means. She didn’t have many friends to begin with, and even less now that Jenny is gone; it’s not like anyone wants to talk to her when she’s holing herself away, eating lunch alone, anyway. The downside to the job, however, is that her brother also has time to himself. And God only knows what Tyler is really doing with those four and a half hours before their father finally comes trudging through the front door, exhausted and out of commission after a full day’s work.

Macy always feels like she’s disappointing her parents with the way she handles Tyler. Big sisters are supposed to look out for their younger siblings, aren’t they? Despite their lack of supervision, Macy knows her parents are doing the best they can. She certainly can’t blame them for any of the issues going on in her life. The entire town felt the force of the atomic bomb that went off when the murders began—Macy and Tyler just happened to be a lot closer to the source of radiation.

She sees Cornelia rising from her spot on the steps, giving Ashley Valentine’s shoulder a friendly squeeze as she passes. Her eyes are fixated on Macy, and a rush of fear runs through her. She shoves her lunch back into her bag and hurries off down the sidewalk. She’s done so well with avoiding her old friends since the end of school last year. Last Monday, when Jeremy Axons nearly slammed right into her as they both rounded a hallway corner at the same time, Macy nearly lost it. She wanted to spill everything, to say sorry for not calling, sorry for everything that had happened since they lost Jenny. But there was no air, and she was already hurrying off, her feet carrying her without her brain making the decisions.

It only takes about two seconds for Cornelia to appear next to her, high-heels clacking against the pavement. Great, Macy groans inwardly. Now what is she supposed to do? Start sprinting?

“Macy, wait.” Out of the corner of her eye she catches the little v-shape that always forms in the creases between Cornelia’s eyebrows when she is upset or confused. “Please, I just want to talk.”

Macy speeds her pace up a little bit more, but it’s no use. Cornelia had been all-state on the varsity track team last year. If there is anyone in the world who could keep up, it’s her. As if on cue, a whoosh of chocolate hair appears in Macy’s periphery, but she keeps her gaze forward. “Just leave me alone,” she hisses through clenched teeth. People are beginning to stare, hoping to catch a glimpse of the freak and Little Miss Popular getting into a fight in the middle of Commons. It only makes Macy walk faster.

“Are you seriously not going to stop?”

No answer. Macy can’t get away fast enough.

Suddenly the clacking stops. A part of her doesn’t want to, but Macy still slows to a stop and turns. Cornelia is standing in the middle of the sidewalk, her bag in a heap on the pavement. Macy instantly wishes she had just kept walking. All the guilt she feels from ignoring her friend for the last few months comes rushing back. It’s been so hard doing it by herself, trying to balance the grief of her parents, and then Jenny, without Cornelia. Cornelia, who snorts when she laughs, who always dates boys worth so much less than what she deserves, who can light up an entire room with just her smile. Cornelia, who shines so brightly she dims everyone else around her, most of all Macy.