recluse //fillie

ignorance is bliss

Millie's POV

after the incident with Mr. Wolfhard yesterday at the hill, I was excited to see him today I guess.

I even wore slightly more-normal looking- I guess I would put it, clothes.

I wore acid-washed, ripped, boyfriend jeans. a nirvana T-shirt. a pair of white converse, and a choker.
it wasn't my style, but hey. its a new start so why don't i experiment on things?

when i went to the kitchen, my mom gave me a confused look.

"you look, eccentric today. is this a new style or are you dressing to impress a certain boy that I know nothing of?" my mom asks.

"what the heck mom?! i-i think it's cute and there's no boy!" I exclaim in embarrassment.

parents; they never fail to embarrass you.

after i finish my Froot Loops, i grab my backpack and headed out to the door.

I walked to school and I was flipping inside.

what should I say if I see him?

is this style too much?

is this too soon?

so many thoughts ran across my brain as I enter the hell hole.

I sat down on my table and propped my legs up on the table, trying to get as comfortable while I was reading. I can never fathom why it is so hard to find a comfortable position while reading.

_

during classes, Finn never acknowledged my presence.
it's like we didn't see each other yesterday. or i didn't just almost tell him my whole life story. or the fact that he thought my name was unique.
it's like nothing happened.

I'd smile at him but he never smiled back.

I tried to talk to him but he just mumbles a few 'okay's' or 'oh's' here and there.

i was pretty much pissed for the rest of the school day because of that. i couldn't wait to go back to the hill. I'm not expecting him to be there, too. I just want to clear my mind, considering my attempt yesterday was rudely interrupted by a certain freckled boy.

as the bell rings meaning it's 5 o'clock, I get up my seat and rush out the door.
I ran, hitting a few people, but I couldn't care less.

i sit at the same spot i did yesterday. the grass scrunching as i sit.
I take out a black notebook out of my bag and start writing stuff.

it's nothing in particular. mostly poems or quotes.

i feel a presence beside me and I looked. it was Finn.

"h-hey." he stutters out.

"hm? why are you minding me all of a sudden. from what I experienced just a while ago is that what happened yesterday was non-existent and I was just the new girl in school." I spat, obviously pissed at him.

I didn't have the right to. we weren't even that close. but I did anyways. from what happened yesterday, that was enough to convince me that something- a connection perhaps- was born and he cannot just simply ignore that.

"well, this might make me sound like a dick, but believe me, its reasonable. I don't want people to judge us. and no, no. it's not that I don't want people to see that you and I are talking. its just that, our generation is fucked up. people get the wrong idea so easily and it just annoys me. i really want to be your friend, but with people like them, we have to have somewhere we could be ourselves. where we could be free and just be friends. a safe haven, that is. and Millie, I declare this hill as our safe haven. this hill will be a place we would make memories at. memories that people won't judge us for if we make them public."

I suppose I was shocked with what he said. he made a point. nowadays, a boy and a girl cannot be just friends because people are forever thinking there is something. but no. this friendship is pure and I like it that way.

"oh okay. this is our place" I reply.