Tokyo Ghoul x Avengers One Shots

Cutest Member

Okay, I had this idea for a while now but didn't know whether to do this. This is going to be random shots with any type of Kaneki. I also take requests so go wild. You want me to make him a cross-dresser? Sure! Transform him into Catipede? No problemo! The limit is your imagination. (Keep in mind that I may not do all of them)

Avengers Tower

"Yahtzee," Kaneki says and the guys groan in response.

"Again?" Steve asked in disbelief.

"You're cheating, man!" Clint accused, annoyed.

"This is your 4th consecutive win," Bruce points out.

"You truly are a master at this game," Thor complimented.

The Avengers is currently in the Avengers Tower in the living room. Kaneki, Steve, Clint and Bruce were playing Yahtzee with Thor watching the match between them while Natasha watched the news beside them on the TV. Tony was still asleep in his room.

"Not my fault you suck ass," Kaneki shot back, smirking.

"I still think you're cheating," Clint repeats. Kaneki shrugs in response, not caring.

"Mornin," Tony exclaims, happily as he practically skips down the stairs. Everyone stares at him, incredulous. "What?"

"You just woke up yet you're in a good mood and you haven't even drunk your coffee," Bruce explains what everyone was thinking.

"It's not that strange," Tony replied, not really bothered by his teammates' shock. The team stared at him a little longer until Clint had an idea on what was going on.

"Oh, you were with Pepper last night," Clint drawled, giving Tony a knowing look.

"Yep," Tony answers without shame. "Last night was amazing."

"God, Tony I don't wanna know," Steve groaned.

"Gross," Kaneki stuck out his tongue in disgust.

"Kaneki, your opinion doesn't really matter on this topic since you're young," Bruce tells him.

"Yeah, you're a kid!" Clint laughs.

"Am not," Kaneki snapped with what he believed to be angry look but looked more like a pout.

"Aww, how adorable! Wittle Ken's pouting," Clint cooed, teasingly.

"I'll half kill you, Barton, if you don't shut up," Kaneki growls.

"You do look adorable when you pout Kaneki," Natasha agrees.

"Like hell I do! I'm a ruthless, remorseless killer!" Kaneki retorts before letting a small sneeze. Everyone 'awed' which just made Kaneki grumpier.

"You sound like those like the small furry animals behind the window," Thor reminisces the time he passed the pet shop with Jane on their date.

"You need to face the facts Kaneki, you still have baby fat in your cheeks, you have a figure girl would die for and soft ivory skin. You're the cutest member. You might even be cuter than any girl," Natasha teased. 

"You can't argue with facts, Kaneki," Steve affirmed.

"Yahtzee," Kaneki said out of nowhere.

"What?!"

"We weren't even playing! How could you win?"

"Cheater!!"

Next week 

"Tonight's hot topic is the Avengers! We have an exclusive interview with Tony Stark AKA Iron Man!" The audience starts clapping and cheering once Tony comes into the room and sits on the chair beside the interviewer.

"It's great to have you here, Mr Stark," the interviewer says, excitedly.

"You can just call me Tony, Caroline," Tony winks at her.

Caroline didn't blush, already knowing of Tony's flirtatious personality, "Alright, now we have a lot of questions for the Avengers. They are very popular with the world but we don't have a lot of info. Care to share?"

"Of course! Within reason though," Tony adds as an afterthought. 

"A lot of eligible ladies want to know whether or not Captain America is single," Caroline says.

"Yes, ladies, he is," Tony said looking straight into the camera, "don't know why you're interested in an old man. You girls could obviously find someone younger and more fun. He's an ice cube."

"I also have some questions which refer to the Eyepatch, everyone knows him to be the most intimidating and scariest Avenger-" Tony snorts and Caroline stops in confusion. "I'm sorry, did I say something funny?"

"He isn't scary without his mask," Tony tells her.

"Excuse me?"

"He isn't scary without his mask, he's adorable," Tony repeats, "he still has baby fat in his cheeks!"

 Caroline raises a brow at that piece of information, "seriously?"

"Yeah! The first time I actually saw him.., I thought he was a girl," Tony admitted, laughing. "Did you know he sneezes like a kitten?"

"Mr Stark, have you been drinking?" Caroline asks, annoyed. She needed a piece of serious and accurate information for the interview, not some rubbish spouted off by a drunk old man.

"No, I haven't," Tony replies, unfazed. "I know it's a little hard to believe but it's true."

"The guy with a Frankenstein-styled gimp mask with a face that looks like a restrained asylum monster? The man-"

"Boy," Tony interjects.

"What?"

"He's 19, still a teen," Tony informs.

"Oh, that's interesting," Caroline notes, happy to get at least one piece of valuable information of the Eyepatch, "so he's the youngest member of the Avengers."

"Yep," Tony answers, popping the 'p.' It was that moment he felt his neck hairs stand up. "Damn, he knows."

"Who knows, what?" Caroline questioned. 

"Ka- I mean, Eyepatch," Tony answers. Caroline was about to ask another question when a 'ping' interrupted the interview. Tony brings out his phone, "ah, he sent me a text."

"What does it say!" The audience demanded so Tony brought it up on the screen behind them.

'WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING?! SPEWING C*** ABOUT ME, YOU B******! I AM A COLD, HEARTLESS KILLER, NOT SOME CUTESY KITTEN! F*** YOU, STARK!! SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN, TONIGHT.'

"Sorry to cut this short, but I need to hide for the next 2 years," Tony tells them, slightly nervous. "Goodbye, Caroline!" Tony runs out of the room.

'There's nowhere you can hide, I'll still find you, Tony.'

The next day, the people took Tony's words seriously and Eyepatch was no longer known as the frightening Avenger but the cutest. Meme's started up and pictures and videos were edited with flowers, sparkles and all kinds of cutesy things in them. Kaneki was deeply humiliated that his persona was ruined and glad that no one knew his true identity. As mentioned in his last text, he found Tony and made the man suffer. The image of Eyepatch was ruined forever and Kaneki was now teased by his friends and teammates, S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel also did this but one death glare from Kaneki was enough to make them stop. They valued their life, after all.

Kaneki's adorable, that's a fact you can't argue with.