Counting Stars (GirlxGirl / Lesbian)

Her?

It's been a while, eh? 

If you want me to explain myself why I've been absent it's because I've lost my muse. Which sucks fucking ass. Like I want to write something new, something creative but I've been drawing blanks. But lately, I've been in the mood again to write (YIIPIEEE, whatever the fuck).

Well, here's this thing that you guys want?;

Where is Alex? Is the question swarming around in my head, as I sit across the table from my brother Rico and next to my mother. It's just my mom, Rico and me. Because James is out because he has soccer practice. Alex is no where to be seen, and hasn't been seen in this house since Saturday, though I saw her today at school and she embarrassed me in front of her friend. Now I have a date with a guy I don't even like because I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself and say what I truly believe and want. And my dad? Well he hasn't been seen since I was Five. One day, he told my mom he was going out with his friends and never came back. So my mom said. I think what really happened is he told her he was tired of how selfish she was and just left. But she wants to make him seem like the bad guy, because that's how she is. I think he sends money because how else would she be able to provide for our living arrangement by herself? Especially because she keeps us on the move, always moving place to place. And she only works jobs that pay shitty money, like a grocery store clerk or something. So something has to give. Like social security, food stamps, or something. Which this something is probably my dad paying child support from some unknown land.

Dinner is awkward with my mom, Rico and me. Rico passes me the pot filled with soup, because my mom made some box noodle soup and called it dinner. Now she's acting all high and mighty, saying she's a wonderful cook on her facebook. I know because she has her phone on and sitting on the table as she types. I dump some of the soup into my bowl and pass the pot to my mother, who takes a tiny bit and says she's on a diet. I think if my mom was to lose any more weight she'd probably die because there's no body fat on her.

Rico takes a bite of his soup, and so do I; and the rest of dinner is ate in awkward silence. When I get up to my room, I have to remind myself not to go through the drawers that has Alex's things in it. But part of me can't help it. I want to know who she is. This girl who pins down random girls and tries to seduce them in their own home, and also kisses random girls in the hallways against the lockers at school. I want to know who she is and why she acts like that. As I'm tugging on one of my drawers, it's jammed and I sigh and pull open the one below it, which is Alex's. And it exposes some underwear that's way too flashy for my taste. Well, really it's black and more lace than actual fabric.

In a flash, my wrists are grabbed and gripped in a grip I am sure I cannot get them out of. Over the next few seconds I'm flipped onto my bed, laying on my back with Alex pinning me down to it. Her lips were straight and her eyes filled with anger as she looked into mine. "Why the fuck are you going through my drawer?"

Biting my nether lip, and looking into her eyes. I could feel my heart about to jump out of my chest.  "I-I didn't mean to. M-my d-drawer was jammed." My lower lip was quivering.

Her thumb pressed onto my lower lip as her face got immensely close to mine. "I don't believe you." 

I really should've known she wouldn't have believed me, it was obvious that I was lying -- that I was assure of. Though I wasn't really trying to lie. Maybe if I tried--

"Look, you stay the fuck out of my thing's or I'll make your life fucking hell." She growled at me, her eyes glowing with anger. This side of her honestly made me want to cry so bad, I'm sure my eyes started watering. What if she hurts me?

"I-I'm sorry." I cringed away from her, pulling at my wrists trying to get free.

She pushed my wrists so hard into the bed, I'm sure there were going to be bruises and got up and turned away -- facing her dresser. She pulled open the drawer I had opened, reached into it and pulled a piece of paper --though it looked like a picture -- out and stuffed it into her pockets. Then glared back at me. "Sorry I didn't mean to be so cruel, I just really hate people going through my things. If you want to know something ask me, got it? But don't go snooping, Nancy Drew." She uttered and then left our room.

Sitting up in my bed, I rubbed my wrists. There was a twinge of pain where she had gripped them. Surely there would be bruises. 

Alex was sound asleep, downstairs on the couch. She had her legs draped over the back of the couch and her body was twisted to lay on the couch, using one of the couch pillows to support her head. How is that even comfortable?

Approaching her, I noticed the fact that she didn't have any blanket covering her body. Sighing, I went to my room and got my blanket and took it out to her. It was my only blanket, but she looked like she needed it more; plus my room got hot anyway and I probably would've kicked it off of myself in the middle of the night anyway. 

Alex mumbled sleepily in her sleep, tossing and turning over to face me. "Thanks." She put her palm to her forehead. Her sleepily glazed over eyes were shining looking at me. 

"There's no need--" I gulped, feeling bad for earlier again. "I'm sorry about earlier."

She sat up and rolled her eyes, looking over at me. "Ugh. It's whatever now, really." Alex bit her lip, and brushed her hair back through her fingers. "Why are you so nice to me? You don't have a crush on me, do you?" 

"N-no. It's just, since we're going to be living together, it's best if we get along right?" My eyes met hers, and this was the first time I believe I've seen how sad she looked. It looked like she was about to cry or pour out her heart and soul to me or something. 

"Good. It's best if you don't, I'm no good. You deserve someone like Chris, he's an amazing dude." She looked over at my wrists, they were starting to bruise from earlier. I tried to move them and put my hands at my sides so she couldn't see them, but Alex grabbed hold of my hand and kissed it softly. I couldn't help but stare at her lips, they just looked so soft...

Before I realized it, we were up late talking about relationships and everything about hers made me feel just so sad... 

In the morning, I woke in the arms of the girl I was living with and my mom was standing over us. "Ahem." She pretended to cough. "What the fuck are you two doing?" She glared angrily at us.

"Sorry, Ms Summers. Tessa and I were just talking and I guess we fell asleep?" Alex scratched the very top of her head.

At first I didn't realize why my mother was so mad, but she was mad because it was like we fell asleep cuddling; like couples do. I brushed my hair behind my ears with my fingers and blushed, looking down. I sat up and then slowly got up and made my way upstairs to my bedroom. What in the hell was going on with me?