cold//min yoongi AU

chapter 4

c e l

it's been two weeks since we've started dating. it's weird because we got along a little too well unlike when we hung out when we weren't dating before. its so unusual but makes me happy at the same time.

"jagi!" i hear yoongi from afar , along with heavy footsteps getting closer to me.

i stopped walking then turned around only to find him already in front of me from a very short distance— a distance less than a foot. i felt my heart rate increasing quickly as i make eye contact with him.

"hello, my love." he cupped my face with his cold hands then leaned in. but i pulled away almost immediately, i've never felt like this before with him.

a week ago, i was so uncomfortable with him being all touchy. but now, it gives me comfort and makes me crave for his touch more. its scaring me a lot.

"is there anything wrong?" he asked, grabbing both my arms gently with his hands.

"n-nothing, i just- i feel sick, i gotta go." i ran away from him, leaving him confused.

it scares me a lot to know that i have already fallen for my accidental boyfriend.

i dashed my way home and locked myself in my room.

i love yoongi. i love min yoongi. i love yoongi min. i love suga. i love him.

but does he reciprocate the same feeling?

he only said he liked me a lot.

i thought about all of what's happening within me until i felt sleepy.

i woke up, knowing i have to face yoongi again. my boyfriend. just thinking about that makes me smile.

after i finish my mini-concert in the shower, i wore my uniform then peeked inside seokjin's room to see if he is still asleep, he is. so i carefully closed the door and grabbed an apple for me to eat on the way to school.

as i approached the school gates, i immediately spotted his glowing figure, he's just so milky white, i love it.

"hi jagi~" i hugged him, causing his body to stiffen before hugging me back.

"woah, what's up with you? you're usually not this touchy with me, love." he lightly chuckled, looking down at me.

"i don't know, but i have something to say— uh, nevermind. just forget it." i pursed my lips, taking back what i'm about to say.

he doesn't love me back, he only likes me a lot.

"oh, come on my jagiya! you already mentioned it." he pouted, yet i shook my head, "please~ or else i won't take you to the park anymo-"

"i love you, yoongi." i blurted out.

oh man, i feel like dying in shame.

"what?" he breathed out in disbelief as i feel his grip loosening around me. oh no.

"i'm s-sorry if you don't feel the same. i just-"

"you love me? as in love, love?" he asked, he seemed scared and worried. i don't know why, am i supposed to not fall in love with him then? tf.

"yes." i gulped then nodded a little.

"oh, uh, i guess i'll just see you at lunch. bye, cel!" he let go of me as he run towards the school entrance.

okay, he doesn't love me back. ouch.

time passes by so quickly and its already lunch. i headed to our school cafeteria and waited for yoongi at our usual table, but he never showed up. i ended up not eating lunch, so i just stayed in our music room and tried out the newly bought guitar by our school.

i knew at the first strum that i needed to sing my heart out. i've been writing this song since we got together and coincidentally, this is the first time i'll sing it.

did you ever feel that way
then why'd you ever make me stay
by your side
your side

something feels a bit wrong here
can't point it out
but you pulled me near
by your side
your side

why? what is it supposed to be
why do i feel that its not real
when i look into your eyes
your eyes~

tell me about those hidden glances
your intentions and uncertainties
your awkward smiles and cliche romances
your hesitations and worries

why do i feel its unrealistic
like its all scripted and planned out to be perfect~

i stopped and sighed, the lyrics halted there. but i wanted to sing more, there's still this heavy feeling on my chest that i wanted to let out.

but now its all changed
the way i looked at you its not the same
i fell for you, but i feel like i'm not supposed to
why do i feel like this?

do you love me back
i feel like i fell into a trap
i'm scared, this anxiety
thinking you will not fall for me

"celestine."

then i woke up, i didn't even realize i fell asleep next to kookie who now had his arms wrapped around me like i'm some pillow or something.

i didn't push him off though, he seemed so peaceful in his sleep. instead, i thought of my dream. i've been having dreams like this lately, it started about a week ago. i really don't find it necessary to be dreaming of flashbacks like this, flashbacks that i certainly do not want to go back to.

"damn, i'm so stupid. writing a song for him, really?!" i facepalmed myself with my free hand, the other one is trapped in jungkook's embrace.

"you wrote a song for him?!" jungkook exclaimed in a groggy manner.

"aish! i thought you were sleeping!" i flicked his forehead, fully waking him up.

"yeah, but then you woke me up." he flicked my back, letting go of my body which he used as a pillow, "wait, you really wrote a song for yoongi?" he asked again.

"yes, i did. but that was way, way back." i answered.

"but why do you still think about that?" he asked another question. do i really have to tell him about my dreams?

"i, uh, i've been—i'm, um— okay. so i have been dreaming about our past lately, like flashback of our moments and all that. i really don't know why, though." i bit my lip in shame and looked down.

"hey noona, don't be like that. i'm not going to tease you or anything. i suggest you visit jimin hyung for advice. oh, wait! go to namjoon hyung, he's wiser than jimin-pabo." he toothily grinned at me.

"don't be like that to chimchim!" i chuckled, lightly punching his shoulder, "and sure, i'll just visit them both." i smiled back at him.