Living In The Shallows (UK Crush #1)

Chapter Twenty-Six

I continued to look out at the pond. To say I was freaking out wouldn't even begin to cover what I was feeling. Another koi splashed, and I jumped at the sound.

"Well, your continued silence doesn't bode well for me," he said, looking back out at the water. "Don't think it's such a good idea, then?"

I found my voice. "No, it's not that I don't think it's a good idea. I actually think it's a lovely idea. I think it's so darling of you to think of it, I do." I hugged myself to him, drowning myself in his scent, his presence. He hugged me back, hands finding my neck, pulling me close.

"Here's the truth, Teddy. No..."—he tried to let me go so he could look at my face—"I can't say this looking at you, it's too embarrassing, let me say it to your chest, okay? I'm nervous about kissing you. At this point you've probably kissed about a thousand women. So what if I'm terrible at it? I mean, what if it's like golf?"

"What?" He burst out laughing. "Did you say golf?"

"Stop laughing!" I demanded. "Yes, golf. You know, how it's not fun if someone who's really, really experienced is playing with someone who's new to the game? It's ridiculous, you have to keep walking back and forth because one doesn't know how to hit the ball as far as the other and can't keep up? What if it's like that?"

"Okay, I'm sorry, but I've got to let you go for a tick." He released me so he could lean on the fence and just let go and laugh. He put his head down for a good fifteen seconds, shoulders shaking. He finally stood up, wiping his eyes.

"Okay, I'm good, I'm good, honest." He looked down at me, laughter still in his eyes.

"Ah, Birdie,"—he stroked my cheek with his thumb,—"don't get all indignant with me. There's not a person alive who could've heard that and not laughed." He pulled me to his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"So, what do you say? Do you want to give me honor of being your first kiss? Or are you going to save it for some inebriated lout named Justin or Connor or some such at a frat party?"

"You really want to?" I asked. "Kiss me?"

"I've been dying to kiss you for weeks," he said with a smile. "It would be an absolute pleasure."

"Okay, then," I said. I couldn't believe this was going to happen. I took a deep breath and then covered my face with my hands, the way I always did when I was nervous. I took my hands away, and turned to face him.

"Hold on a minute," he said, taking a step back. "Now I'm nervous."

"You? Why? You've done this a thousand—"

"Stop saying that!" he said with a laugh. "I mean, think about it. It's your first time. I'm representing my entire gender here. If this goes badly for you, it could put you off kissing, or even men, for the rest of your life. It's quite a heavy responsibility, I think."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Maybe we should get drunk first," I suggested.

He took me in his arms with a smile. "We won't need any alcohol," he said softly. "I know I won't, anyway." I put my arms around his neck, and he buried his face at the back of mine, putting his lips right at my hairline. I tilted my head to give him more room. He slowly moved forward, trailing his lips along my skin. He stopped for a second to whisper in my ear, "This is the pre-kissing warm up part, okay?" I nodded. As much as his mouth, I was aware of how our fronts were touching, with just cotton and wispy gauze between us. When he got to my scar, which had barely healed, he stopped for a minute, his tongue snaking out to touch it. I shivered with pleasure at the tickling sensation. He moved back to my ear and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Birdie, so, so sorry—"