Broken But Whole {SLOW UPDATES}

2

¨Depression is when you really don't care about anything. Anxiety is when you care too much about everything. And having both is just like hell.¨ 

1378 Words

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Noel P.O.V

"So?" I asked.

"Well, it seems that you have been getting better. We can lower your medication but that doesn't mean you stop going to your therapy again. Since we are lowering it, you're going to have to go to therapy 3 times a week. You'll have the same person but one of those sessions requires you to sit in group and at least listen." The doctor said, putting the papers on my desk.

"Fine" I said while looking at my music.

"Well, I best be going. I'll see you in a month." The doctor said and left my office.

I sigh and close my eyes. I see her. She's still amazing and looks gorgeous. I open my eyes and I see her walking up to me.

"Uh Xena, why are you here?" I asked in surprised, trying to fix myself as I walk over to her.

She presses her lips against mine and wraps her arms around my neck.

   I pulled her waist to me as I kissed her down her neck, letting my hands wander over her. I pulled away and smiled at her.

"I'm so sorry that I-".

"Um. Noel? What the hell are you doing?"

I look over and see Xavier, my best friend, manager and one of my artists. He was shaking his head while I looked down, realizing I was holding a vase. I dropped it and rushed over to my desk and cleared my throat.

"What is it Xavier?" I asked him while rereading my songs.

"Uh no Noel. I'm best friend. I have seen you do worse", he says while walking up to my desk and pats my head.

"Whatever", I said feeling flustered, trying to hide my smile that kept getting bigger.

"Whatever my arse! I hope you didn't forget that you have a finance. So you thinking about another girl isn't going to help." He mentions as he sits down.

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"She thinks something is up and she's getting annoyed because you are pulling away from her." He said with a slight smile on his face.

"Oh. Then what's with the smile on your face?" I frowned starting to get worried.

"Because you, my man, are in love. Meaning that you don't have to marry her." He exclaimed while doing a victory dance.

I laughed a little but he's right. I'm in love with someone that I stop talking too for over 10 years. Just by seeing her. Knowing she's still alive. Knowing that she's better. Knowing that she-.

"Um hello, hey! Love sick puppy! Wake up!" Xavier snapped his fingers.

"Huh?"

"Wow you haven't seen her since high school and she already has you wrapped around her fingers. Now that is amusing." Xavier said while walking away laughing to himself.

I sat back, against my chair thinking and wondering, when she might call?

Page 💔

"But she's so fly, she got halo

In ya face,breath stink, you can't thinkfor the periodical table of contents symbol AUmy technique, rover in the robe, gold linkThat's right! Follow the old maestroEyes chink, fuckin wit these niggas made a nigga thinkSittin rite on dem nikes like a boy had a tailor

With a fucked up attitude, cuss like a sailor"

The beat runs through my head as I moved a little, feeling the rhythm flow through my body, breathing deep and letting my anger and sadness slowly wash away. I took my headphones off and gave a sign to the instrumentalist to turn off the music. I left the room, threw the headphones on the couch and left the room after telling the producer what to do. I went upstairs and grab my stuff so I can go home. As I am packing up a little, I see a dark figure standing in my main room.

It started to move towards me and I backed up more each time it took a step closer.I didn't realize that I had no where to until I was against my door about two steps away from the figure. The figure stopped moving and I notice something familiar. The figure had glowing eyes and they resembled of someone that I know or I think I used to know. I struggled but I was able to open the door and was out of there like a light. I kept running and turning almost crashing into my employers as they all looked at me with curious and terrified eyes. I was finally able to leave my building out of breath. To calm myself, I started walking in the opposite direction of my home when I realized everything that just happened was not real. Casually, I walked down the street with tears streaming down my face that I couldn't prevent from happening.

Xena

¨Karina! Serena! Get down here! You're going to be late!¨ Chase yelled and went back to eating his breakfast.

¨Chill the fuck out!¨ Serena yelled back.

¨Cuss one more time at your brother once more and see what happens!¨ I hollered and went back to Jase.

No one said anything and I laughed but stopped when I see the girls come downstairs. Serena had a black and white ripped cropped sweater with some denim ripped jeans and her signature black and white gauge in her left ear. While Karina had on her white and red denim shorts with her favorite black Juicy Couture sweater and her signature heart locket dangling from her right ear. I swear, they could be models from how they dress. I smiled when Serena came over to me and sat down with a pout and frown. She hates it when i get on her about her profanity and her reaction makes me laugh every time.

¨Serena, is there something you need to tell your brother?¨ I asked her with a big smile.

Serena sat at the table with an annoyed expression and said ¨ Chase, I'm sorry for cursing at you. Are you happy Xena?¨ she asked and looked at me.

Whenever she gets angry or even upset (and if I'm around), she'll call me by my name but I don't mind, she just does that to try and get a reaction out of me. It works...occasionally.

¨Very¨ I giggled a little at her.

She continue to have her little pout and bad attitude throughout the rest of breakfast and the car ride to school. I dropped the girls and boys at school then took Jase to Scarlet's. She convinced me to drop him off so I can have some time for myself. It took a good week for her to do so but I caved in. Then I come to find out that one of the boys told her what happened last night so she definitely wasn't taking ¨no¨ for an answer. I know she's worried but I wanted to spend time with my little Jase. He's only 10 years old but he doesn't talk much nor act like a common ten year old. Actually, he is very quiet, he loves sitting in his car seat and keeps to himself but most of all, he loves to spend time with me. But we don't get to spend as much time because of the adoption process and me working on my mental issues.

I made it to my job and sat down at my desk. I plopped my head on my desk tired as hell. I open my eyes and lift my head to look around and saw, a few people were looking at me either worried, scared or slightly angry. Only my co-worker knows about my issues but everyone else has seen me go off into a deep lost space and ever since then, they look at me like that. I give them my usual get-back-to-work-glare and they all went back to what they were doing before but only more terrified. I sigh and finish my paperwork then left to get some air. I'm walking back and forth, causing a drift until I heard someone say my name.

¨Xena...?¨