Pitch Black, Pale Blue///A Snowbarry Story

Chapter 2

Caitlin had been distant of late. Barry racked his brain, but couldn't find a reason why she was being so removed.

"Have I said something?"

"Has someone else said something?" 

"What exactly happened when you went away?"

Barry longed to ask Caitlin all these questions and more.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Cisco come into the room.

Barry snapped out of his thoughts to see Cisco almost right in front of him.

"Hey! Anybody home? I called your name threes times." Cisco rolled his eyes dramatically. "I'm beginning to think I don't yet have your undivided attention."

Without answering, Barry interrupted him. "Have you noticed a change in Caitlin recently?"

Cisco blinked, surprised. "Oh." He was quiet for a few seconds, then said" Have you?"

"I'm not sure. She just seems a little reserved lately."

"You know what? I can just ask her." He said, brightening slightly as he said so. "I'm sure she's fine."

Barry opened his mouth to protest, but Cisco was already walking away. A small frown appeared in his face. He had wanted to be the one to ask her. Oh well.

He couldn't help but wonder if she was somehow being affected by FlashPoint....but surely not. It had a while since he had come back.

No, he thought. Something must have happened while she was away.

He couldn't be causing the way she seemed to carry a new weight open her shoulders. The way she almost never smiled or laughed, the way she seemed more like the Caitlin Snow he had first met than ever.

The sadness that showed in her eyes even when she did smile.

Surely he had nothing to do with it.

But Barry couldn't stop the sinking feeling that he had done something terribly wrong.

All he wanted was her happiness, and he would help her any way he could. He just didn't know how.

And when the time came, he would.

And not just because of their friendship. Even if he hadn't realized his own feelings yet, he loved Dr. Caitlin Snow.

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Caitlin was working in her lab when Cisco came in.

She, like Barry, was lost in thought. "Hello??" called Cisco. She didn't respond.

Under his breath he muttered "Geez, is everyone out of it today?" Then he called out, "HELLOOOOO!??!?!"

Caitlin let out a yelp of surprise, turning to face Cisco while simultaneously almost knocking over the papers she had been working on.

"What the hell, Cisco!?!" Caitlin yelled, once she had gotten her bearings back. She had been deep in thought over he powers, and trying to think up a way to make a power damper that wasn't too noticeable.

Cisco held his hands up in defense.

"Whoa whoa whoa! I just wanted to talk to you."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Well then, what is it?"

Cisco walked over to her. "I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You've just been a little off recently."

Caitlin internally wanted to laugh. You have no idea. "I'm sorry. I've just been a little preoccupied lately."

Caitlin had been relentlessly researching about her powers, but of course it's not like there's a guide for defeating your evil alter-ego after you become a meta-human. 

As much as Caitlin researched, there didn't seem to be any fool-proof solutions. So other than some sort a damper she would wear full time, she didn't really see a solution anywhere.

0All this research had taken its toll on Caitlin, and she almost never slept or ate unless she wrote a note to remind herself to take a break. She missed hanging out with her friends and just having fun.

Occasionally Cisco would bring in food from Big Belly Burger, and they would eat and talk together. They being Caitlin, Cisco, and Barry, save the times when Iris or Joe would be hanging out there too.

Speaking of Barry...

Caitlin almost wished that it had been him to ask her if she was okay, to tell her that he noticed something was off. She wanted him to ask her, and then she would find the courage to tell him everything. But then she would remember the devastation in his eyes when he learned of Dante's passing after he time traveled, and she definitely didn't want to bother him with her problems or burden him too with the fear of Killer Frost.

Caitlin was pulled from her thoughts once more by Cisco's voice. "Well if you're sure sure, then ok. Just know you can talk to me about anything, ok?"

Caitlin smiled back. "The same goes for you."

Caitlin also wished she could tell Cisco, not only for his help with the damper but for his reassurance that everything would be alright.

But as he walked away, she said nothing.

She just couldn't. Something in her felt that if he knew, if they all knew, they wouldn't trust her. She sure as hell didn't trust herself. 

She could handle her powers by herself. It would eventually get better, and she could create a damper or even a cure and never use her powers again. 

That never happened.