Pitch Black, Pale Blue///A Snowbarry Story

Chapter 8

Barry was confused, to say the least. 

After he and Iris had broken up after a couple weeks of dating, he knew why. They were just meant to be siblings, nothing more. His feelings for Iris had been absent for a while, and for split second Barry wondered how his life would have differed if he had realized his lack of feelings sooner. Who he would have met, where he would be right now.

And then it hit him...he wouldn't change anything, because it had brought him her.

Caitlin Snow.

Caitlin, who amazed him with her intelligence very time she opened her mouth. Caitlin, who he loved to make smile and laugh because when they first met she never did. Caitlin, whose stunning beauty and elegance reminded him of an angel. And she was one, to him-always patching him up when he came back injured with gentle hands and angry rants about his lack of caution.

And seeing her after Killer Frost had faded away, broken and sobbing into his chest, had cut deep. And knowing...knowing that the only reason she even had these stupid powers was because of a mistake he had made...that killed him.

Caitlin, who he had fallen deeply in love with without even realizing. 

And he didn't know what to do with these feelings. They ran deeper and more true than anything he had ever felt before. 

With Iris, he had always wanted to change. He had kept this other version of himself in his head, and told himself he he could reach it, she would return his feelings. If he was stronger, more handsome, more her type, it would all work out. And somewhere inside himself, he knew that he didn't deserve that, that Iris didn't deserve that. 

With Caitlin, it was the opposite. He knew he could be himself around her, that she didn't need some picture-perfect guy with all the right words. 

She didn't need him to be anyone but Barry. Not even The Flash, just Barry Allen. She had even said so to him once, and he had never forgotten it. "With or without your powers, you're still you, Barry." Her words echoed in his mind whenever he felt particularly down and reminded him that no matter what happened, she would believe in who he was.

One problem-she didn't return his feelings. Of that, he was sure. Why would someone like her fall for someone like him? In fact, she probably hated him, as he had saddled her with his problems for years and then given her dangerous abilities that she couldn't control. Abilities that her evil doppelgänger had used to kill people, now running through her veins. 

Oh yeah, and a evil alter-ego who can take over her body.

Yeah, she probably hates him.

Despite knowing that she would never return his feelings, Barry knew he would never want to stop loving her. He never could stop loving her, even if she didn't love him back. 

So he decided not to say anything, even though it would kill him. He had to help her with her powers, help her become herself again, something she hadn't been in a long time. 

Barry had noticed that something had changed about her recently-she was more subdued, and didn't seem to want to train to learn how to use her powers anymore. He was just going to have to ignore his own feelings and put her first.

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If only he knew that she felt the same. That she loved him with the same fierce and unrelenting love that he held for her, but that she was still firm in the belief that he was in love with someone else. 

If only he hadn't waited until it was too late to tell her. 

If only.