Linstead OneShots

I'm sorry

(I'm sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my native language)

He was a wreck. Ever since she left without saying goodbye, he's spoken very few words. Mostly 'yes' and 'no', but nothing more, he avoided conversations when he was angry and sad.But what happened next, that only made it worse. Especially with Erin not there.

He was on his couch, drinking a beer. That's what he's been doing for the last couple of weeks. People kept asking him if he was ok, hoping that he won't go down the same rabbit hole from when he came back from Afghanistan.

Afghanistan.

He still had nightmares. Bombs exploding, civilians running for their life. Talibans sneaking into abandoned buildings and opening fire on innocent people. Most don't really think about war that way, but then, not everyone has experienced the terror of seeing a kid get shot right in front of them.

It happened to him once. He was on top of a building with his rifle. He was a skilled sniper, one of the best. In front of him there was a small sports shop, there were all kinds of things there. From boots and jerseys to water bottles. By the door, there was a little boy, 8 or maybe 9 years old, juggling a ball. He smiled a little. 'At least he's happy.' he muttered. But his thoughts were stopped short when a gunshot was heard dangerously close to him. His first sense was to look around, see where the shot came from and then try to neutralize the target. In front of the small shop, there was a bloodstained soccer ball and next to it, the lifeless body of the little kid whom Jay was just smiling at a few seconds ago.

The kid was gone in the blink of an eye. He turned his head for a second, and then bam! Who could've expected that? No one, really. But that wasn't one of the questions that were going through Jay's head. And certainly that wasn't one of the answers.

What if I kept looking at him? What if I saw the shooter? What if..

'What if' questions kept being in his head. 'Stop playing the what if game.' he heard a voice in his mind say. Only it wasn't his. It was Erin's, and that's what Jay kept telling her over and over again when Nadia died.

'Look where it got me. Drinking my life away in a bar owned by my mother, the same who left me in the streets when I only a kid, hooking up with some random guys and snorting powder. Do you really want to reach rock bottom too? At least I had you pulling me out, but who do YOU have? Will? Hank? The unit?' Erin laughed to herself. 'You won't get through it without my help, Jay. And I'm not coming back, so you need to choose now. Is it gonna be a life full of partying, drinking and drugs or a  quiet life with loved ones surrounding you?' she finished.

What's going on with him? Is he going crazy? Was that Erin speaking to him, or was it just his imagination? Nevertheless, he got the message. He isn't going to survive the dark hole without someone's help. Someone close, who has been there for him everytime and who knows and understands what he's dealing with.

Sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and watching the news on TV have become daily activities for him. All alone. No one to speak to. No one who could comfort him and be there for him, telling him it's all gonna be alright in the end. The 7 o'clock news were on, nothing special,really, but then something had Jay lock his eyes and ears on the reporter.

'We are being informed of a terrorist attack on an American base in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Sources say that a small army of about 20 afghani men rushed into the base's perimeter with their guns, taking the soldiers by surprise. As of yet, there are 7 survivors and multiple casualties, but victims are being searched and treated as we speak. Our thoughts go to the bereaved families of the brave soldiers who put their lives in danger every single day and have sacrificed themselves for our country. God bless America.'