ecstasy || Shawn Mendes

- 1 -

I walk out of Mrs. Davidson's office and walk my way back to my bike that's parked in front of the building. I keep thinking about the questions she's been asking me for about three years and of which my answers haven't changed even the tiniest bit. 

"How are you feeling today?"

"Do you have any regrets about anything?"

"What would you like to change in your life at this exact moment if you could just do that with a snap of your fingers?"

I'm just grateful that today was the last session we had. I just couldn't stand her any longer. She only asked me the same questions every week, nod her head as I answer her and nod her with every word I'd say. She wasn't of good use when it comes to coping with the stuff that is bothering me, so I'm glad this part is finally over. 

I put in my earphones as I reached my bike, I press shuffle on the Spotify app and one of my favorite songs starts to blast through the earphones, 'Dream On' from Aerosmith. I cycle home which takes me about twenty minutes. I used to hate cycling, but since my mother's death, I love it because she used to love it. Now I see it as a small amount of time which I can use for clearing my head with all the thoughts that are filling it. 

I put my bike in the garage and walk inside. I see Colin in the living room and sit down next to him.

"Hi."

"Hey, how did it go?"

"Well, you know how it goes so I think that that's a question you already know the answer of,"

"True, anyway, I haven't heard from William all day, I only found a garbage bag filled with empty cans of beer and some vomit in his room and I don't have a clue about his whereabouts,"

"Great, anyways, can you order some take-out tonight? I really don't feel like cooking and since you can't even boil an egg, that leaves take-out as the only option,"

He shakes his head yes and opens up Google. 

"Chinese? Indian? Italian? Mexican? What do you want?"

"Pizza is fine," I respond. 

"I'll make sure that we can eat around seven o'clock, maybe you should do your homework until then?"

I get up and walk to my room and put my bag on my desk but decide to get a nap instead. It's four thirty, so that leaves me about two and a half hours of napping time. I lie down and before I know it, I've fallen asleep.

"Skye?" I quickly open my eyes to see Colin standing next to my bed.

"Yeah?" 

"The pizza is here,"

"Oh, right, I'll be downstairs in a minute," He leaves the room and I quickly put on some comfortable pajamas and walk downstairs to the kitchen to be greeted with the smell of a freshly baked pizza. 

When Colin and I are in the middle of enjoying our pizza, we hear the front door open. Not even two seconds later, the door slams shut and a drunk William walks into the kitchen.

"Yay, pizza." He walks over to Colin and gets a slice of his pizza.

"Where have you been all day?" Colin asks even though he knows that he won't get an appropriate answer.

"That's none of your business, young man," William says with his mouth still full of pizza

"Well, actually, it is. And would you mind cleaning up your vomit the next time?" William looks at Colin and without a warning, his fist hits Colin's face and makes Colin fall of the stool he's sitting on. 

"This is my house for fuck's sake!" William yells.

I walk over to Colin and look over to his head, which has turned red due to the collision with William's fist. Colin stands up again and pushes me aside so that he can face William.

"Then why are you never here?! Then why are we taking care of the bills?! Huh?!" Colin yells and pushes William a bit. He shouldn't have done that. 

"You filthy little idiot," William says and looks at Colin. I can see the anger and the amount of alcohol in his eyes. William pushes Colin aside and walks over to me, grabs my arm and pushes me up. He uses his other arm to hit me in my face multiple times, while never letting go of my arm. I beg him to stop and scream my lungs out which eventually leads to him letting go of me. Colin rushes towards me and rests his hand on my forehead while I cry due to the shock I'm in. He holds my face against his chest, whispering the same sentence all over again. 

"It'll be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay," the tears that roll down my cheek won't stop until I can hear a fake laugh coming from the other side of the kitchen. I look at William who's sitting down on the floor, laughing.

"You two are hilarious," and with that said, he stands up and leaves the room. A few seconds later, we hear the sound of the door of his room slamming shut.

This was actually the first time that William has hit me. He has hit Colin multiple times over the years, but me, never. Until now. I have always hated him, even when he was with my mother, but he made her happy, well, at least, she said that to us, and I just hope that it was the truth. 

"Are you okay?" Colin asks me while I try to get back on my feet. I shake my head yes and walk upstairs. Colin helps me get to bed and tucks me in. Afterwards, he sits down on the side of the bed. 

"I'm so sorry for all of this, this shouldn't have happened to you," A tear rolls down his cheek. 

"It's okay, it's not your fault,"

"I, I just, I just want to protect you from him and then this happens," 

"Colin, it's not your fault, you should know that!" I caress the cheek William hit him on and smile politely.

"I'll lock the door and slide the key underneath the door so that he can't come in, good?"

I shake my head yes and smile again.

"I love you, Skye,"

"I love you too," I whisper. The sound of his soft voice gets replaced by the sound of the door locking. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep, but with everything that has happened tonight, my mind isn't thinking about falling asleep, it's only replaying the scene that happened in the kitchen and now I know what a living nightmare feels like. It feels like this.