“The Bullying of Asperger’s Syndrome”
It all started in third grade; I was at a new school, and not one classmate was used to my idioms. The class noticed I tended to talk out of turn, and was well above an average third grader’s intellect. Instead of making friends with me, they decided to hate me. My class created “Taylor germs” instead of cooties, and it only progressed from there. By fourth grade, I finally could not take it anymore; I became an angry girl who lashed out with words. One time I came in for yet another recess where I was ignored and ridiculed, with tears almost streaming down my face. Instead of tears however, I must have been shouting angrily because one kid said “Taylor, you couldn’t hurt a fly!” and next thing I knew my fist had hit his face and there was blood everywhere. He still has a scar in his gum line from where I punched him. I cried instantly for I knew I was in trouble, but I also cried because I had hurt another person. Fifth grade and sixth grade where a bit better, for I learned to bribe children to be my friends by giving them my snacks and, in return, they’d build snow forts with me or dams to keep me company. In seventh grade I realized how alone I was; I never trusted anyone and lost my best friend to a boy who beat me up, and told me to kill myself daily, yet no one ever did anything to help me.
My parents weren’t much help, because as I fell into depression they only pointed out what I did wrong. It took me a few years to just learn a routine to make sure I showered and ate every day, but once the routine was there it could not be changed. If it was changed, I would end up being uncomfortably enraged and panicked for the entire day. I needed help, yet everyone shied away from me, and I was alone. Soon I believed everyone was out to get me, and I couldn’t trust anyone. Everyone was bullying me, and there was no escape.
It finally ended some of my torment when I was told I had Asperger’s Syndrome by a parent, but I kept it a secret. I also transferred schools in eighth grade, and knowing what was wrong helped me combat it; however, kids are kids and bullied me because they had friends at my old school who told them to. In high school, the bullying got worse and worsened my paranoia of everyone being out to get me. I left class constantly in tears from side comments kids made, but it wasn’t just one or two, it was a loop of the entire class, each one getting his or her own vicious remark in. Sitting down with the counselor made it better or worse, but I remember saying it was everyone who was hurting me; I couldn’t always list names.
Finally, one day Dominic told me, “I only tolerate you because you have Asperger’s Syndrome.” That one sentence made me lose all composure and just cry. He had found out from my cousin not knowing it was a big secret that I didn’t tell people especially people I barely knew. He felt awful; even though he didn’t know he just unintentionally told my biggest secret to a large group. As I got more involved in sports and clubs, more people asked if I had it, each time sending me into a dark place. All those people who asked, I thought, “How dare they ask that in such a large group?” Finally, in my senior year, I had to just come clean that I had it, and to be proud of it rather than dwell of the fact I have it, and that people would use it against me. The bullying, however, never fades for they’ll never understand Asperger’s Syndrome like someone who has it.
