I went home with bruises. I hid them from Granny though. I ran to the bathroom and cried. I found a razor in the bathroom and remembered someone telling me to cut myself. I took the blades out knowing that I didn't want to do it. Voices in my head kept pushing and pushing me to do it and I gave in. I cut across my left arm and watched as the sink filled with blood. It hurt a lot but, it made me feel calm and helped me feel better about everything. I thought to myself, "why have I never done this before?" I felt that this would help me get through all of this.
The next day, I wore a jacket to school. I hid my new scars from everyone. As soon as the bell rang I ran to the bus stop because two boys started following me. Their faces were full of anger and disgust. They walked closer to me and their eyes were on fire with hatred. I ran as fast as I could. The wind pushed against me and my heart was racing mile per minute. My skirt flowed through the wind as my jacket flew clean off. It was too late to go find it so I made a turn into the woods and they ran right past me.
After they were gone, I looked for my jacket. I found it sinking in a puddle of mud and I picked it up. I needed to wash it and Granny wasn't home so I just threw it in the washer and took a shower.
When I finished taking a shower, I dried myself off and put on a shirt and shorts. I lifted up my shirt and looked in the mirror. I could see my waist shrinking and my rib cage was visible. The gap between my thighs was getting huge. I hadn't eaten in two days but I still feel fat.
I started crying and punched the mirror. I looked at my tiny, scarred arm and picked up Granny's foundation. I covered my arm with it and laid in the corn field.
