Granny was diagnosed with stage 2 lung cancer. I told Claire we needed to take a break but, the next day I found her on the floor bleeding out.
"She needed me.. and I just left.. she's gone"
"I'll never get her back.. I.. I loved her.."
I fell to the floor and cried. I couldn't believe this happened. I ran home with tears falling down my face. I went to the bathroom and grabbed my razor blade. I cut myself once again but this time on my thighs and arm. I was covered in scars now and could barely hide them.
I went to school the next day and no one realized Claire was gone. I got called to the counselor's office. He knew about what happened to Claire and asked if I was ok. I told him I was fine when I really wasn't.
When I got back to class people started spreading rumors. I could hear something one girl said.
"I heard they were gay for each other and Meagan left her so she slit her wrists."
How did she know what happened? I thought to myself.
After class I went to lunch by myself. Some boys came up to me and said some really mean things and then kicked me.
"Fag!"
"Why don't you kill yourself?"
"It's all your fault!"
I got up and ran to the school bathroom. I was so exhausted. I had gotten no sleep thinking about her.
"Why did I let this happen?"
"I should have stayed with her!"
"Now I'm gonna lose her and Granny!"
I started to cry.
"I'm so pathetic, I can't do anything right. I'm fat, ugly, stupid, gay, and just, UGHHGH!"
I sat on the floor and cried for a while. I left because I was scared someone would see me.
When I got home, Aunt Lizzie was there.
"Hi Meagan!"
"Hi Aunt Lizzie."
"How was your day?" She asked.
"Ok. How about you?" I said.
"Well, I've been taking care of you grandma.."
We were silent for the rest of the day. I went out and laid in the field. I couldn't stop thinking about Claire. She was everything to me. She was all I had. And now she's gone. Forever..
"WHY?!"
"I JUST WANT HER BACK!"
I fell asleep in the field for a while and Granny came to get me around 2:00 am. She saw my arms.We were both speechless. She fell too her knees and asked me why.
"Why Meagan? Why would you do this to yourself?!"
"I.. I don't know.. I thought it would help but all it did was make things worse..!"
We talked and I told her everything. The bullies, Claire, self harm, and depression. She said she wanted to take me to therapy. I told her I would go even though I was scared tell people about my problems..
