Love or Lust?

Mookie P.O.V.

it was 2 a.m. and i just finished crying. my mom starting drugs is her slowly going back to her old ways and man i couldn't run. my ex caught up with me and i know she's gonna hurt someone close to me. this is just too much. i was startled by my phone ringing. it was d.

me: hey d.
d: hey baby, you okay?
me: yeah im fine. where you been? i was waiting on you to call me.
d: my b mama. i had some business i had to take care of.
me: okay well i had fun with you tonight.
d: i did too mama. ay. i know we just met and all but im feeling you. you tryna fwm?
me: yess omg! but i have some things i need to fill you in on before you try and fall too deep.
d: it's cool mama. i was checking on you okay? i know you got school so ima let you go so you can rest.
me: no fall asleep on the phone with me. goodnight babe.
d: goodnight mama.

"honey wake up. i want to talk to you." i woke up not wanting to hear what she had to say. "what?" she sat on my bed and started crying "baby i know what i did in the past was fucked up on my behalf as a mother to you." here we go. "and i truly apologize. i really am tryna be a better parent for you. for bella. for myself. i don't want to be known as the woman who did unspeakable things to her eldest child." i stopped her and got up mad at what happened last night. "i forgive but i don't forget. i've been raped and molested and you lied to my dad about it. then you turned around and cheated on the man who worshiped the ground you walked on for some bum broke ass nigga!!!! i really don't care what you have to say right now marley. just pathetic. you showed favoritism. you hated me because i was pretty. you hated me because my dad showed attention to me and not you. the one person who i was supposed to trust turned around and showed me it's hard to trust. i only trust my father but it's hard to do that because you ruined 25 years of his life cause you was being a selfish worthless tramp!" she stop crying and looked at me. "at the end of the day, i am still your mother and i will not allow you to talk to me like this. only reason i took those drugs last night, was because i was raped bitch. so don't you ever, EVER I YOUR GOOD FUCKING MIND EVER MAKE ME SEEM LIKE I WONT SHIT. THIS YEAR I CLEANED MYSELF UP FOR YOU AND BELLA. NOW FUCKING APPRECIATE THAT. "it was chico who raped you and i. he told your ex where we was and now she's out to hurt you and everyone in her way."

i'm not going to school. everything that just happened got me so dizzy. she's out to get me for what? what did i to her? i was willing to fight back. i wanted to call d so bad but i didn't know if she was woke. i just left her alone and went to do my daily hygiene routine. i came downstairs and my mother had already left for work. today i had to pick bella up from school so i couldn't play around like i did yesterday. i set the security alarm, locked the door and drove to school. i was hurt, angry, and more importantly disgusted. chico, my dad best friend raped me and my mom. now im sitting here wondering if my dad knows. how do chico know where we live ? why is our past coming to taunt us man. i banged my steering wheel and put my head in my hands. "come on girl, you're gonna be late." i
looked up and it was tee. "oh sorry. hey tee." she looked worried. "you good mama?" i just kept walking. "i'll see you later, okay?" i walked in and trish was talking about her night and how she fucked someone. i wasn't really interested in her conversation. after my last class let out tee ran up to me. "mama you haven't been yourself today. you ard?" i looked at her knowing i need some comfort. i gave her my address. "4:00. this is my address. come by, we'll talk." i walked to my car to get my sister

as i opened my door, i noticed a paper on my windshield. i just thought it was a school ticket but i decided to look at it anyway.

ya little girlfriend coming to your crib today? which one. tee or d? lol watch your back lauren.

man. if it won't one fucking thing, it was another. i shoved the note in my bag and went to pick my sister up.