I always read books about dystopian worlds, tragedy, heartbreak, but that was before I took a long look at my surroundings.
The world we live in, what we call fun, is a cruel envisionment of pain, if you think about it. Drinking is considered fun though it attacks the liver, smoking kills the lungs but is considered cool, life is cruel yet addictive. What I've learned is we're all on a drug called reality, we keep living, whether we want to or not, because life is addictive. You don't want it but you have to have it. It makes you feel alive, which is actually ironic.
So all this happiness and joy comes with a price, everything. And then there's love. Love is probably one of the most addictive things out there. Why? Because you want love, everybody does, but most people don't understand the consequences or the sacrifices made to keep up with it. To make you feel loved, make you feel something because all you want is that flicker of hope that waves from a lighter. You want it, desperately, at times. And you know that it's dangerous, that you'll only get addicted, but you go for it anyway. But it's because you need to feel something.
I, of all people, have a lot of time to think about things like this. Being a 17 year old in a small town doesn't exactly make you busy every second of the day. You wouldn't expect it if you saw me, I'm the picture of popular at school, you wouldn't think that this girl behind the walls is just a insecure girl like anyone else. You wouldn't think I considered things this deep, or that I'd even think of gossiping about someone after what I had gone through that before. I had been on the opposing side but even then, I can't will myself to stop. All these years in this town and I still hate it all the same, I just want to get out. Get away, get to Nashville, get a life. The insecurity and doubt have gotten to be too much, it's slowly taking me over, converting me to lash out in order to keep my self-esteem to a reasonable level.
Wyland High is probably the most ignorant school in Tennesee. Since it's a small school and we hardly ever get new students, most everyone's sick of eachother by now. The people who get out are the lucky ones. The county of Wyland lures you in with beautiful scenery and a small, good ole' country town but once you see that the only thing to do is go to school/work and eat, you're done for. So that's why the highschool students have taken to making up games on the train tracks that follow the edge of the city. They call it Panic and it's essentially a game of chicken. You stand in front of a nearing train and whoever stays there the longest, wins whatever prize has been offered. Usually it's cash thrown in the pot or drugs that I really have no interest in. I'm only good at it because I'm capable of letting go, of just going into a state of comatose until completely necessary.
My lessons have only been brief in the past, to the point where I see only what I want to see. And that's not always a bad thing when you see what I see.
••A/N
Hey yall, this is basically the prologue of the next fanfic. It's called About Time and it's really just a "Taylor and a boy" fanfic. So, I hope y'all like it, I'm probably gonna work it out as I go along but thanks for everything, love youu
